The Bar Mitzvah

For a little while last week I thought about writing a piece about Lance Armstrong’s fall from public grace, our society’s insatiable appetite for details of the fall, and the equally insatiable debate that always rages between our demand to know if he’s really sincere (“Is he ashamed because he was caught or ashamed because he sinned?”) in his confession and our desire to give our fallen a “second chance”.  The topic of “second chances” intrigues me – as you can imagine – and I jotted down a fair number of notes, dialog really, about what I’d say to Mr. Armstrong if given the chance.

But, I was sidetracked by a documentary and it got me thinking a different way.  So, Mr. Armstrong will have to wait; but the idea, at least from my way of thinking, that “the truth will set you free”, applies here as well.

The story takes place in Bergen-Belsen, a notorious Nazi death camp.  The chief Rabbi of Amsterdam was there along with thousands of other Jews.  He maintained his faith and organized the prisoners as best as he could.  One day, he approached a young Jewish boy in the camp.  “I understand you will soon turn thirteen.  Would you like to study for your Bar Mitzvah?”  The boy, at first stunned by the offer, agreed.

Each morning the Rabbi would wake the boy at 4:00 and they would sit outside and read from a small Torah.  The boy learned his lessons in Hebrew.  Soon it was time for the ceremony.  But, the Nazi’s frowned on acts of faith.  In a bunkhouse, with the windows covered, the boy was led up to a makeshift altar.

Before he began there was a knock on the door and a lone woman entered.  It was his mother.  They had been separated on arrival at the camp.  The Rabbi, however, had found her and had her smuggled across the camp.

In those filthy, dismal conditions, with hundreds of Jewish people he did not know, the boy recited the text that had carried his father’s people forward from generation to generation.  Through slavery, freedom, captivity in Babylon, pogroms throughout the centuries, he repeated the same prayers every Jewish boy says at his Bar Mitzvah.  At the conclusion, with the ceremony over, the boy was handed a small piece of chocolate as a gift.

Weeks later, the Rabbi again pulled the boy aside and gave him the Torah.  “Keep this and tell the world what took place here”, the Rabbi told the boy.  The Rabbi would not see the end of the war.  But the boy - he survived and made it to Israel.  He would become a scientist and design an experiment that was carried into space on the Space Shuttle Columbia by an Israeli astronaut. 

And the Torah, that small Holy collection of the word of God, was also carried into space.  It was Columbia’s last flight, the fateful re-entry when the space shuttle broke apart over Texas.  The old man who’d been that boy once movingly said the Torah had been “From the depths of hell to the edge of space”.

I love that imagery.  Life is a very difficult proposition.  No one’s life is free of trials or difficulties.  Some, like the boy’s, are thrust on us by the evil that seems to permeate human kind.  He experienced more trial, more difficulty, more inhumanity, than most can comprehend. 

Others, like me, find ourselves in great difficulty and trying circumstances because of our own sin.  We struggle to come to grips with our behavior, our wrongs, and the consequences of our actions even as our lives go further astray.  And the consequences, we realize much too late, are usually beyond what we anticipated or deserved.

Life can break you; it can stretch you and wear you down.  Unless you learn a few simple truths.  First, you always have to have hope.  Without it, there can be no faith.  And faith can move mountains.  It can lead a boy from the concentration camps of Nazi Germany to a life of family, friends and science.

You also have to be kind, in spite of the anger launched against you.  The Rabbi understood that.  It is a lesson I teach myself over and over in here as I deal with a wide array of broken, angry, dysfunctional men and the program system that perpetuates the disgust of prison. 

Finally, you have to forgive and let go of the hurt and pain.  How do you forgive when you’ve been hurt so deeply?  I have spent literally every day of my confinement asking that question.  There isn’t any easy answer.  It’s like the Nike slogan – you “just do it”. 

The other day I learned a new reader – “Tonya” – popped up and was clearly not happy with me.  I wrote a number of witty replies down to “zing” her.  See, I know “Tonya” isn’t “Tonya”.  I know everything that occurred at the office for months after my arrest and my arrest leading to someone being fired did not occur.  But, I also know it’s easier to blame others when we find ourselves in situations we don’t like or understand.  As I’ve said many times on the pages of this blog, what I did was wrong.  But, what I’ve been through and what I lost does not balance with my sins.  And that, I’ve learned is alright.  So I keep hoping.  And I keep believing because my faith tells me that hope does not disappoint.

I had intended to write about falling and your chance at redemption.  Come to think of it, that’s what I wrote about.

General Assembly Blues

It seems ironic to me that inmates at most Virginia DOC facilities dress all in blue.  The General Assembly is back in session and for the 40,000 incarcerated and their families, the 300,000 plus felons denied the right to vote, this is a blue time.

Virginia’s current General Assembly is proving once again that the “best and the brightest” are not drawn to politics.  Some of the recent rhetoric regarding prison reform would be downright laughable but for the effect those words and accompanying votes have on those of us who are behind bars.

Three bills, three battles, hi-lite this fight.  The first, restoring voting rights to non-violent felons at the conclusion of their sentence seemed like a no-brainer.  Conservative Republican Governor Robert McDonnell threw his support behind the measure during his “state of the state” address.  Noting that Virginia is one of only two states that do not restore voting rights to non-violent felons upon completion of their sentence, McDonnell said the following:

            “As a nation that embraces second chances and believes in redemption, we want more productive citizens and fewer people returning to prison.  Automatic restoration of constitutional rights will help reintegrate individuals back into society and prevent future crimes, which means fewer victims and a safer Virginia.”

How did McDonnell’s Republican brethren in the House of Delegates react?  They killed the bill on its first day.

Republican Delegate Dave Albo stated in his opposition to the bill, “When you vote, you get a share in how the country is run.  I don’t want embezzlers to have this right?”  Ouch, Delegate Albo!  I’d argue the idiocy of his premise except I highly doubt the good delegate would understand.

But, here are the facts.  One out of every eighty-nine Virginians is denied the right to vote because of a felony conviction.  This voting exclusion hits minority citizens more as the likelihood of a non-white Virginian being convicted of a crime is significantly higher than a white Virginian (Blacks & Whites use drugs and commit crimes in the same proportions yet Blacks go to prison for drug and other crimes far more often than Whites).

Virginia a believer in the law?  Let’s not forget, Virginia is the same state that gave us “massive resistance” to the U.S. Supreme Court decision desegregating the public schools.  Public schools were closed and white academies sprung up rather than allowing integration.

The Virginia General Assembly is the same legislative body that allowed poll taxes and citizenship tests for Black voters up into the 1960’s.  It is the same body that made it a criminal offense to have interracial marriage (overturned by the U.S. Supreme Court in 1967).

Democrats have carried the past two Presidential elections in Virginia and both senate seats.  The days of felons being systematically denied basic civil rights will come to an end, even without Delegate Albo’s support.

And as for the good Delegate, I’d prefer to be a convicted embezzler who turned his life around than an ignorant bigot.  The Delegate has a lot of growing up to do.

The second issue that has failed to gain traction in the Assembly is Delegate Patrick Hope’s attempt to lower the exorbitant phone rates paid by inmates.  Inmates, and their families, pay outrageous phone rates through exclusive prison phone contractors (Global Tel Link being a major player) who then kickback a 35% commission on all calls to Virginia’s General Fund.  These rates, in some cases $2.00 for the first minute and ninety cents each minute thereafter, hurt poor families more.  They also run counter to the Governor and DOC’s pledge to seek to keep families connected.  Inmates who maintain family support are more likely to not recommit.

Delegate Hope, a champion of prison reform, tried a new approach this year.  Keep the rates high; he suggested only if the commissions were then diverted from the general fund to prisoner re-entry.

On a party-line vote the Republican majority killed the bill.  GTL’s lobbyist breathed a sigh of relief.  

Finally, news came that Delegate Jennifer McClellan’s attempt to increase good time earning levels for non-violent felons from 15% to 50% was tabled by another Republican controlled committee.  Had the committee given serious consideration to her bill, by 2018, the state’s inmate population would have dropped by 8,600 inmates at a savings of $200 million.

Delegate McClellan, in presenting her bill said, “This is about giving non-violent offenders who made a mistake a little bit of hope.”  Unfortunately, politics isn’t about hope.  The Virginia Association of Commonwealth Attorneys opposed the measure.  Little wonder.  Their funding is tied to their conviction rate.

Many Republican politicians argued that increasing good time would circumvent “truth in sentencing” and return Virginia to its former “parole” system.  I would suggest that spending $25,129 per inmate annually to keep them incarcerated is a poor use of state resources. 

As I have repeatedly pointed out in the pages of this blog site, “truth in sentencing”, is a misnomer.  Governor Allen’s abolition of parole did nothing to lower the recidivism rate.  All it did was dramatically increase the number of men and women behind bars – from 9,500 to nearly 40,000 and increase the size and cost of Virginia’s prison system (over 13,000 employees, 43 prisons, and in excess of one billion dollars annually).

I’m blue, not just in my jeans and shirt, but in my core.  I realize I have a vested interest in each of these bills and I put myself in this situation by breaking the law.  But, you only need spend a few days in this environment to realize Virginia’s corrections’ paradigm is an abject failure.  Too many people are behind woefully mismanaged, filthy, unsafe prison walls for too long a time.  Virginia’s prison system and harsh, inconsistent sentencing guidelines are not making Virginia safer.

What it is doing is creating a class of disenfranchised citizens who are denied basic voting rights.  They get out of prison and find it difficult to reintegrate into society (you wear a scarlet “F” as a felon in Virginia).  And it’s not just those released from prison.  Felons who have completed their sentences have children and families.  And, there is a general impression among those behind bars – and their families and friends – that the system isn’t fair.  Having lived through almost five years of this experience, I can honestly say there is much lacking in the system.  It is neither fair, nor just.

If there is any good news to report, the times appear to be changing in Virginia.  There’s a Governor’s race this year and the Democrats seem well positioned.  Perhaps, just perhaps, prison reform is on the horizon.  Still, I got them General Assembly blues.

            “I got them General Assembly blues

            From my head down to my shoes

            Whatever bill they bring up

            Us inmates are sure to lose

            Even if it makes sense money wise

            That ain’t what delegates will choose

‘Cause they hate the folks behind bars

            And nothing can change those views

            That’s why I got them General Assembly blues.”

 

Forces of Evolution

On July 3^rd, 1863, after two days of horrendous fighting in the small Pennsylvania town of Gettysburg, the Army of Northern Virginia began to form up behind a tree covered tract. Directly in front of it, on a gradual hill almost two miles away, lay the Army of the Potomac. Confederate General Robert E. Lee surveyed the battlefield. For two days, his rebel army had fought, bled, and died in an attempt to defeat the Union army, march on Washington and gain peace and independence for the Confederacy.

            Lee ordered General George Pickett to lead a grand charge across the open hillside and attack the dug in Union army at its center. A clump of trees sat at the Northern army line’s mile-wide center. “Aim for the copse of trees,” Pickett urged his officers as the 15,000 strong division began the long march forward.

            The troops marched as cannon fire and small bore canister shells tore gaping holes in their ranks. The men reformed and pressed forward moving in an orderly, disciplined march into a furious wall of fire. Barely half strength, they reached the front of the Union line. During furious hand to hand fighting a small number of rebel troops managed to breach the Union defenses and pour through at the copse of trees. For a few dramatic moments the battle hung in the balance with those few Confederate soldiers on the cusp of victory. But, a rapid Union counter-attack overwhelmed the rebel soldiers. In less than six hours the haggard Army of Northern Virginia retreated from the battlefield. They were badly beaten and would never again threaten an invasion of the north. Within two years, the Confederate States of America would cease to exist as an independent body. They foolishly marched into a withering fire and were slaughtered. For a few brief moments at the copse of trees they could sense victory. It was their high water mark. It would never return.

            I thought about that army as I watched the Presidential election returns with ninety other inmates, almost every one of whom had their TV turned on as the news broadcast the results. The vast majority of men in this place saw the re-election of President Obama as a wondrous event. They cannot separate race and economic status from a campaign. Obama, they believe, is just like them. They don’t understand that the President abhors gangs and crime, and that he is part of the “one percent.”

            For me, as I watched more states go “blue” I couldn’t help but think I was witnessing the high water mark of the GOP. Never again, I fear, will they muster sufficient national strength to win. It is ironic that so many in the current Republican Party reject evolution, because evolution explains their predicament. They either evolve or die off. I believe they will choose the latter.

            I spend a great deal of time each day explaining history, philosophy, politics, and economics to my fellow convicted felons. For many in here, I’m the most educated man they’ve ever met. And, as the election approached I found myself explaining the Republican’s positions on virtually every subject. Most of the time, however, I found myself serving as an apologist for the party of Lincoln, a party that has lost its identity and its way.

            Some reading this may wonder what an inmate, a convicted felon, is doing advising anyone. Good question. Perhaps, more than most, I know what it means to lose one’s way. Perhaps, more than most, I know you can change. But staying inert means ruin.

            Republicans lost both the popular vote and the Electoral College vote even as they took more than 59% of the white vote with sizeable majorities in those ages 35 to 64 and over 65. If the United States was all married, white, church-going families with children, Mitt Romney would be president. The problem the Republicans have is that’s not America in 2013.

            Thirteen percent of all voters were Black. Romney got 7% of those. Eleven percent of all voters were Hispanic (more in some of the crucial swing states). Romney lost that block 71% to 27%. Young voters (18 to 30) accounted for 19% of the votes tabulated. Romney lost them two to one. You will not win many elections where you start out conceding one of every three votes.

            Why doesn’t the party of Lincoln have more sway with minority voters? After all, both Black and Hispanic voters match white marital and church demographics so prized among the Republican establishment. Could it be because of the harsh rhetoric and outrageous social positions taken by Republicans smack of racism?

            I have learned a good deal during my incarceration. Here are a few basics. First, any rational parent, regardless of color, wants their children to have a better life than they do. Second, people come to America for opportunity. In spite of this nation’s faults, it is still looked at as the one place where dreams for a better life can come true. It’s what drove white Puritans here in the seventeenth century and what drives Mexicans, Columbians, Sudanese, Chinese, and people from a hundred other countries to come here.

            In many ways, I now accept that my time in prison has made me into a better man. I’ve become a born again Christian. I don’t say that lightly. I never believed in such a thing. Life, however, when it tears at your gut and you wonder, “Can I survive tonight?” brings you face to face with the Almighty. I was an ordained Deacon, Elder, and Sunday School teacher in my church. And from all appearances, I was a “good Christian.” But I wasn’t. It wasn’t until I sat alone in a cell and had nothing left that I turned to God. I evolved. Perhaps that’s the place the Republican Party now finds itself.

            A good deal will be written about this election. Fault will be assessed. “Romney was the wrong candidate” some will argue. Others will blame the Tea Party for their intolerance on issues such as gay rights, abortion, and birth control. But, like inmates coming to grips with their crimes and atoning for their wrong doing the Republicans must be open to change.

            Abraham Lincoln came to believe that the Civil War, the earth shattering bloodletting the nation underwent was divinely required to end the scourge of slavery. But Lincoln also saw the future. He knew those same battling people could eventually find “the better angels in ourselves.”

            You either evolve or you die. That is the crossroad the Grand Old Party stands before.