The Good Chase

This blog was written in November, 2014.

            I have a friend named Chase and he’s Muslim. He takes his faith seriously, makes his prayers five times each day, avoids profanity, pornography, and gambling. During Ramadan he was undergoing chemo. The med staff here failed in their diagnosis. His jaw swelled about a year ago. Medical said, “You have an infection.” For nine months they ran Chase around with antibiotics and “suck on tart candies” to “stimulate your salivary glands.” Turns out they were wrong. The swelling got worse, started choking off his airway. A quick trip to MCV and the real diagnosis came in: cancer of the salvia gland, stage “3.” Tough to hear anytime, let alone less than a year before you go home after eighteen years. Chase, he took it all in stride. “It’s in the hands of Allah,” he said and he began the treatments. And Ramadan? In his weakened state, he couldn’t participate in the month long fast. That too was ok. He was alive and survived, he said, by the will of his God.

            Chase is a nice guy, one of the nicest men I’ve met either inside – or outside of prison. He may not have always done the “right” thing and like all of us he made mistakes. He was in here for the last 18 years for crimes he committed. But, he is a kind, decent man who strives to live to the tenets of his faith.

            Religion is a tough topic. My 81-year-old father – a Korean War veteran – tried to tell me at visitation the other day that we need to get those “barbarians” in ISIL. And, he distinguished ISIL by their religion. I asked him what Jesus would do? Jesus, I said, would forgive, and freely allow them to behead Him because it isn’t this body that’s important; it’s your soul. My dad just said Jesus wouldn’t make it in today’s world. I thought to myself, maybe that’s the problem.

            “Religion is the opiate of the masses.” That was Karl Marx, a near penniless writer trying to feed a family in the industrial Darwinism that was London in the 19^th century. Marx was angry at his circumstances, angry at the vast disparity between the haves and have-nots. Religion, he concluded, kept the disadvantaged from rising up and slaughtering those who held them in check. As I said, religion is a tough topic. And, it’s easy to draw anecdotal conclusions and apply them to every circumstance. The world isn’t black and white it is hued in a sorts of grays and religion is right in there.

            There are very good Muslims. There are very bad self-professed Christians. There are agnostics and atheists who better represent Jesus than I could ever hope to. Gandhi understood more about the Sermon on the Mount and our call to action as followers of the Prince of Peace than most Christians I’ve met. There is a self-described “man of faith” in here who claims to love his Catholic Church yet he is one of the meanest, most hateful men I have ever met. He is continually angry. He is a racist and a homophobe. Another man watches Joel Osteen multiple times each week yet runs most of the scams in the building and lies about everything from his “wife” to his upbringing. Christian – by affirmation – say both men.

            Chase occasionally will work himself into a frenzy – as do most Muslims and Christians here – when the subject of gay marriage comes up. Life becomes black and white. Homosexuality is a sin, they all agree. I find it ironic that the same ones who profess eternal damnation for that sin overlook their own murders, adultery, or a dozen other “serious” sins. So, I asked Chase if you’re sexual orientation is biologically predetermined (i.e. it’s in your genes) and God is the ultimate constructor of everything, from the simplest single cell to the sun doesn’t that mean God created those genes? “You have a point,” he told me. Islam – like Christianity – professes to judge not the sinner. All are God’s children.

            Free choice. It isn’t God who warps our minds and distorts and alienates. Over and over the New Testament tells Christians “God is love.” We are called to “turn the other cheek,” “forgive as God has forgiven you,” “care for the widow and orphan … visit the sick and those in prison, … clothes to the naked, feed the hungry … give and it will be given to you.” No, religion doesn’t make people hurl insults at Latino children who come here to escape the murderous rage of gang warfare in Columbia, Honduras, or El Salvador. Religion doesn’t cause “church members” to hold signs at a funeral saying “God hates fags,” or shooting doctors sitting in church because they happen to provide abortions. That’s man’s evil side, his – or her “free choice” packaged as God’s will.

            Beheading, torturing a kidnapped journalist in the name of God is evil and sinful. But, so is labeling all Muslims bad; so is calling on your nation to bomb your enemies into oblivion. That isn’t Godly nor is it confined to one nation, one race, one creed.

            A little background on me. In my college days, my mother always told me to consider the ministry. I could talk! Was it because I was so theologically astute that my mom wanted me to pursue a seminary education? No. She just wanted to be the mother of a preacher. But, we were a “churched” family. I was a deacon at 16, read Calvin and a host of other protestant “reformed: theologians. Intellectually, I got “it.” I always wondered, however, when the minister would take a position not in keeping with his congregation’s voting habits how the members would discount the words as not realistic in “the real world.” God and mammon co-existed quite easily in most churches that I’ve attended. Uncle Sam, it seems, sits on the left side of God. My adult life – married, father, ordained elder, Sunday school teacher, I lived quite comfortably with that cognitive dissonance. That all changed in August 2008.

            I understand more now about the infinite power and mystery of God than I ever did. And, everyday I’m reminded how far I must go. Too often guys in here use “religion” as a means of separation, segregation, and self-delusion. They miss the “real” message. Funny but the same is true out there. You ever read Paul’s letter to the Corinthians about love? Every wedding – it seems – uses Paul’s words. I can tell you – 28 years with a woman I still love and pray for everyday in spite of the divorce – we didn’t meet Paul’s test. We failed; almost everyone does.

            Don’t blame God for the evil that’s done in His name. Blame those of us who profess belief and then distort His desires and ways for our own selfish, evil, and petty hopes. And maybe, just maybe, we can all start practicing a little more what we profess.

A Tale of Three C’s

            Three white guys whose names all begin with C stroll around this compound. Much of what I consider problematic with prisoners is represented in the three Cs. For I fear, as a lay psychoanalyst and observer of human behavior, that prison has done nothing except bring out the worst in them.

            C#1 is on his second trip to “the rodeo,” that’s what guys doing time three or four years at a time – the installment plan – for fifteen or twenty years call it. The guy is an accomplished artist. He can draw or paint anything. Beautiful cards; posters; embroidery. But, he’s a scumbag. He runs dirty hustles all over the compound. Want a watch? See him. He gets ten to twelve watches smuggled in. Religious medallions too.

            Then there’s the forgery scam. Guy wants money for drugs, or gambling, or a cellphone. C#1 got hold of a “college transcript” form. Inmate pays him $50; C#1 creates a “college transcript” showing the inmate pulled A’s in his classes. Transcript sent home with a heartfelt letter. “Mom, I’m working hard, getting my education. The next class cost $275 (or $375 or $150) and I have to pay by next week.” Mom, who’s seen her son come in and out of prison three, maybe four times, willingly sends the money in. Trouble is, the guy isn’t in college.

            C#1 partners with a notorious child rapist to con guys on their electronics. The partner – a mid-thirties white guy, who looks like he stepped out of a GQ ad, is doing twenty years for forcible penetration of a pre-teen when he was eighteen. At a higher level, this guy would try and run under the radar. Fear is an effective deterrent to a lot of nonsense in high-level security facilities; fear isn’t very prevalent down here.

            So this guy – who works as an electrical vocational aide – teams up with C#1. You need new wiring on your headphones and C#1 tells you, “I got a guy.” Problem is, your speakers are coming out, replaced by older, crackly ones in the shop. And your speakers? They’re going in someone else’s headphones – for a price of course.

            And C#1, well he’s gone from church group to church group. He’s a Jehovah Witness now. He’ll spout doctrine and verse all the while pocketing his thirty pieces of silver.

            Then we come to C#2. This guy has the skin color of the Speaker of the House. He too is on his return trip to the rodeo – third in all. He lost most of his twenties, part of his thirties, and now at 41 and with two years remaining – his entry into his forties. C#2 is a prick; sorry, but there is no other way to describe him. He is angry, hateful, bigoted, and smart enough to be dangerous. He is a very smart man and that may bother me more than anything else. He’s smart and yet so dumb to the reality of life around him. He sees color and class and judges by those arbitrary lines.

            C#2 is inmate assistant to the Catholic deacon who comes every Sunday – 52 weeks a year – and leads a dozen or inmates in worship (once a month a priest comes with the deacon to perform confession and communion). This seventy-year old man felt called in retirement to work in prison, ministering to Catholics behind bars. His assistant professes to be devout, yet his words – about blacks, Hispanics, gays, and women – speak louder than his faith.

            I asked him the other day – as he was charging his usurious interest rate on store-boxed ramen noodles and cookies, “What kind of store-box would Jesus run?” His answer: “Fuck you Larry. Jesus never had to do time with these assholes.” Couldn’t argue with that logic!

            C#2 represents all the separation you see in here. Guys feel no loyalty, no comradeship, no empathy that “we’re all in this together.” So, prejudice and ignorance fester and guys are drawn to crazy theories – on both ends of the spectrum.

            “What’s in it for me?” That’s the mantra of C#2. And, I don’t recall seeing that anywhere in the Sermon on the Mount. I can’t help thinking old Karl Marx (the unfunny Marx brother!) must have coined his expression, “religion is the opiate of the masses,” inside a prison. Because in here, guys use religion exactly the opposite of what God intends. C#2 is an apostle alright, an apostle of anger, hatred, and separation.

            Finally there’s C#3. I must confess I am conflicted by #3. He can be charming – especially to your visitors when your paths cross in the VI room. I’ve seen him give to those without. But then … suffice it to say, this isn’t his first rodeo – nor will it be his last rodeo. Simply put, he runs too many hustles, is too dirty, to avoid detection.

            Need cologne? See C#3. Certain religions are allowed access to “prayer oils.” C#3 fronts dozens of orders through Muslim inmates. The bottles come in; he breaks them down by dram. We’re not talking “Sandalwood” and “Myrrh” available on the commissary. We’re talking CK, Polo, Kenneth Cole, Hermes, you name it. And most of these guys have never worn cologne or aftershave so they bathe in it.

            Then there’s his phone scam. He sells “Google numbers” for $25.00 a pop. A phony local address and one of his 100 local Google numbers gets you $0.99 per minute calls instead of $2.00 or $3.00 per minute via DOC’s provider GTL. C#3 recycles the numbers to new inmates when current “users” transfer or go home.

            What C#3 doesn’t realize is the Feds (who are already looking at him for something else) know all about his “Google scam.” A few months ago, DOC put out a directive prohibiting money orders for “fronted long-distance numbers.”

            Finally, C#3 had his wife send in “going home” clothes to guys with thumb drives sewn in the waistband or hemline. One of those thumb drives found their way into another building and was confiscated during “computer crisis #1.” And yes, the powers that be here know he’s dirty.

            C#3 sits around reading books by TV preachers telling everyone he’s down to 15 months at which time he’ll leave and live a fairy tale life with his wife. I think it’s called cognitive dissonance; your behavior is opposite your words. In here, its C#3 being C#3.

            I watch and shake my head. It’s no wonder two out of three guys are back inside within 36 months. The sad thing with the three Cs is they all have strong family support. They are all smart. They don’t need to run the prison cons; they don’t need the anger, the arrogance, the conniving. They have a chance at a real life outside of here. But, they blow it. They didn’t learn anything from their first trip (or trips) to “the rodeo.” This is a moral tale with no happy ending. I wouldn’t expect any less in here.