Something Smells

As I write this, convicted murderer Teresa Lewis is hours from her execution in the Virginia death chamber at DOC’s Greensville Penitentiary. Virginia Governor Robert F. McDonnell, a Republican, who successfully ran in large measure by touting his Christian faith refused Lewis’ clemency request late last week. The United States Supreme Court likewise refused to intervene. Absent a miracle, shortly after 9:00 pm this evening, representatives of the Virginia Department of Corrections will begin the IV drip that “humanely” terminates Lewis’ life. This case, the way the Governor, the prosecution, and the courts have dealt with Teresa Lewis stinks.



As I ponder the hypocrisy of Governor McDonnell’s refusal to intervene, I am reminded of an expression my oldest son would utter quite often “hypocrisy is a stinky cologne”. I also thought back to another great Loudon Wainwright tune:


“Dead Skunk in the Middle of the Road
Crossin the highway late last night
Should’ve looked left, should’ve looked right
Didn’t see the station wagon car
Skunk got squashed, there you are


You got your dead skunk in the middle of the road
Dead skunk in the middle of the road
Dead skunk in the middle of the road
Stinkin to high heaven.”


There is no doubt that what Ms. Lewis did was evil. She was having an affair and conspired with her paramour and his friend to kill her husband and stepson execution style while they slept. The husband survived the initial shooting. Lewis waited almost an hour before calling the police. Her desire for insurance proceeds – her greed, her infidelity, led her to that fateful undertaking and it cost the life of two people (the victims).


A great many people love to walk around wearing “WWJD” bracelets. “What would Jesus do” is a fashionable question that many well-meaning, God-believing folks use as a mantra to explain to people their moral outlook. Yet, we as individuals, and as society, terribly miss the mark. No matter how much we profess our faith, our actions indicate otherwise.


In numerous instances, Jesus called us to be better than our nature. When confronted by the crowd over the adulterous woman, he told them “Go ahead and execute her, that’s the law. Only the one free of sin must cast the first stone.” The crowd silently dispersed. He looked at the woman and asked “Where did all those who condemned you go?” When she told him they had all left, Jesus stated one of the great Biblical truths: “Then neither will I condemn you. Go and sin no more.”


How many of us can honestly say we live up to Jesus’ commandments? The law is a hard standard, but forgiveness and compassion are even more difficult. Why do you think Jesus told the Pharisees divorce was wrong, that the divorce laws were in place because people’s hearts were hard? God never divorces you. We are called on to be “God like”.


We’re told to “love our enemies”. Anyone can love a friend, but love those who hurt you, who despise you, that’s tough. Yet, that’s exactly what Jesus would have us do.


I saw a news show last evening. A grieving father confronted his daughter’s murderer at sentencing and said “I pray each day that God will show you no mercy.” I can’t put myself in that man’s shoes, but somehow I think his prayers won’t be answered. God will show that man mercy – if he cries out for it – because God is merciful, in spite of our sinful ways.


Did Teresa Lewis deserve to die? Sure. Are we called to a higher understanding, are we to forgive, and love, and show mercy? Absolutely.


Governor McDonnell, if you’re going to “talk the talk”, then “walk the walk”.


Postscript: At 9:13 pm on Thursday evening, September 23rd, Teresa Lewis was declared dead following administration of a lethal injection. Teresa Lewis’s life ended after she apologized for the heinous crime she committed and with praise for knowing a merciful God exists.


I have learned a great deal over these past two years. One thing is that hatred, anger, bitterness breeds more of the same. Our chief obligation in life is to love and forgive. My faith assures me Teresa Lewis is in a better place. At least in the eyes of God, it is not her wrongdoing that defines her, but her soul.


I prayed this evening for our Governor. Doing the “right thing” doing “what Jesus would do” is usually unpopular. But, if it was easy, we’d all act more kindly and compassionately. We’d be more forgiving. Governor McDonnell will live with the knowledge that he could have put his faith in action. He could have spared Teresa Lewis’s life.


Mahatma Gandhi said, “When you apply an eye for an eye, pretty soon the whole world is blind”.


Justice does not include retribution or revenge. Justice smells sweet. What happened this week stinks.

Loudon 9:4

I have four favorite recording artists: Bob Dylan; Van Morrison; John Prine; and a little known folk singer named Loudon Wainwright, III. If you’ve ever seen the Sandra Bullock movie “28 days”, you’ve seen him. He played another patient in rehab with Bullock’s character.



The thing I like about these four guys is the lyrics they write. I was in the delivery room when both my sons were born. As I held each, moments after their birth, I leaned down and softly sang Dylan’s “Forever Young” to them.


I danced with my wife on our deck the night our eldest graduated high school. It was dark, the moon was full, and I held her in my arms and danced to Van Morrison’s “Tupelo Honey”. I heard John Prine sing “Angel from Montgomery” close to a thousand times. His words “if dreams were lightin, thunder was desire, this old house would have burned down a long time ago” played over and over in my head.


Loudon’s music was with me since college in 1977. I had his albums (I’m giving my age away!) and heard him sing “Dead Skunk in the Middle of the Road” and “Rufus is a Tit Man” (a funny ballad about his son breast feeding). No song of Loudon Wainwright’s resonated more with me than “Unhappy Anniversary”, a ballad he wrote about his divorce.


On September 4th last year the Henrico County Circuit Court entered our final decree for divorce. It was entered exactly 29 years to the day of our first date. It came only 85 days before our 28th wedding anniversary. I was devastated by the divorce. In truth, however, the reasons behind it – my wife deciding to end our relationship because of my crime; her statement “I haven’t loved you for a long time”, my awkward attempts to “make her love me” – revealed more to me about the strength (or lack thereof) of our marriage than I was ever willing to admit.


Still, with the 4th just days away, I miss her terribly, still love her, and yes, wish our marriage hadn’t failed. I’ve learned a great deal this past year about relationships.


First, more than anything, love matters most in those moments of failure, trial or loss. We all screw up; we all hurt each other, and even put ourselves ahead of others. Yes, sometime we commit crimes, or suffer from addictions. But, when you love someone, truly love them; it’s for the long haul.


Second, if you love someone, you forgive them without condition. That doesn’t mean the hurt that person caused you magically goes away. It does mean you forgive, and the bond between you remains, in spite of the hurt.


I believe in true love. I know it exists. I also know it’s not perfect. Sometimes it’s loud and you can’t stand the other person as you argue and bicker. But, you love them anyway.


There is definitely such a thing as soulmates. Without your soulmate you feel a part of you is missing.


The strange thing about these past two years is, I’ve discovered I’m a very good, strong person. Prison can’t break me. I feel better, more alive, more appreciative and empathetic for people than I ever have in my life. But, the pain I feel over the end of my marriage, the loss of my soulmate, the separation from my sons, tears at my innermost core.


My friend, Big S, and I were talking the other day. He asked me what I would do, what would I say, if she ever came for a visit or wrote me. I told him I wasn’t really sure. I’d probably just look at her blue eyes, tell her I love her and hope she’s doing well, and tell her I miss her and I’m sorry, sorry the way we ended.


People sometimes tell me I’m spending too much time grieving the loss of her. I tell them I’ve only spent 2 years locked up, but over 28 with her.


So, I run and recite Isaiah 40 over and over. And, somewhere back in the recesses of my brain I hear Loudon Wainwright sing, and I can’t help but wish things were different.


Unhappy anniversary, one year since we split
I walk and talk and get around
Lie down, stand up and sit
I eat and drink and smoke a lot
And live a little bit
Unhappy anniversary, one year since we split.


Unhappy anniversary, ten years since we met
There is no need to remind you
Or way I could forget
We fell in love and then fell out
Both times there was no net
Unhappy anniversary, ten years since we met.


Unhappy anniversary, I cannot count the days
My mind thinks back to happy times
Before you went away
I tell my mind to forget you
But my heart it disobeys
Unhappy anniversary, I cannot count the days.