Worth Reading

This past week I came across a number of articles worth mentioning. 

Want to understand why we should be offended over the government’s assassination of an American citizen/terrorist in Yemen?  Read law Professor Jonathan Turley’s Op Ed in Wednesdays (10/5) USA Today.

As the professor noted:

“No republican can long stand if a president retains the unilateral authority to kill citizens whom he deems a danger to the country.  What is left is a magnificent edifice of laws and values that, to quote Shakespeare’s Macbeth, is ‘full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.’”

Be afraid when government, with the power to imprison or kill, unilaterally exerts that power without so much as a whimper about law or justice.

In that same day’s paper, the editors of USA Today, noting Amanda Knox’s release, drew a cogent comparison to the Casey Anthony case. 

“How did Knox end up under arrest, held without bail and imprisoned for four years?  Perhaps one part of the answer is that her case had more in common with Anthony’s than first impressions would suggest.  A rush to judgment in any language is a dangerous thing . . . So which system is worse?  One that might let a killer go free or one that puts an innocent person in jail?  Put yourself in Knox’s shoes, and the answer is obvious.”

Two very powerful points.  Here is the simple truth:  prosecutors and police make mistakes.  They want to close cases and get wins.  I have literally met hundreds of men who were lied to, cajoled; you name it, to get a conviction.  Were they guilty?  In most cases, yes.  But when the police are allowed to lie, to distort the truth, justice suffers.

And finally, don’t think Virginia needs prison reform?  Read about the success in Texas with early release, alternative sentencing for non-violent felons, and emphasis on programs.  The Texas Public Policy Foundation reports in its September 2011 newsletter of significant money savings as well as reduced inmate population and lower crime rates.  Perhaps Governor McDonnell could learn a few things from Texas Governor Perry.

Finally “The Daily Press” (Hampton Roads newspaper) called for prison reform on September 26^th.  How many more editorials have to be written before the Governor and the General Assembly finally do the right thing?

Thinking about Love

I read an interesting column the other night about society losing “its loving feeling”.  The writer asked “where is the love?” and concludes sadly, “it isn’t front and center”.  He then points to “where it isn’t”.  It’s not on TV anymore with shows like “The Bachelor” dominating ratings.  And online dating?  He compares it to ordering off a Chinese takeout menu (I have a personal opinion about online dating but I’ll keep it to myself).  We’re a nation obsessed with how her or she “makes me feel” not about what love requires.

Shakespeare defined love as “a smoke made with the fumes of sighs”.  The old bard’s still got it.  He’s saying love is elusive and indefinable and can render us speechless.  Neil Young sang “only love can break your heart”.  Neil’s a pretty good bard too.

Love is a hot topic of conversation in this place.  Too often the discussion ends up degenerating to physical attributes, sex.  But, here’s a universal truth:  everyone wants to be loved.

A few months ago, at the deepest part of my funk brought about by my exchange of letters with my ex, a few of the younger guys came to me trying to cheer me up.  “Get over her” (or more colorful words to that effect) they told me.  They just couldn’t understand heartache caused by losing a woman.  So I tried to explain it.  She was as much a part of me as I was.

Here’s what I’ve discovered the past few months.  I’d rather be heartbroken than not give a damn.  See, I still love my ex.  Doesn’t mean there’s some magic “happily ever after moment” coming in the future.  But, I realized on the worst day of my life I did the most loving thing I’d ever done and I did it without giving a second thought to what it would cost me. 

Two different news stories hit me last night.  In the first, Arnold Schwarzenegger’s former housekeeper recently spoke out.  Apart from expressing her own remorse over what happened, she said the following:  “I know Arnold is hurting.  He did something wrong, but he loves Maria more than anything.”  Unfortunately, we do stupid, selfish, irresponsible things at times and hurt the ones we love.  In my case, I can offer no excuse.  I would do anything to set back the hands of time.

The second involved actress Tatum O’Neil who was promoting her recently released autobiography.  She has had, to say the least, a difficult life.  Now in her late forties, she was given drugs by her own father at age eleven.  Years of severe drug addiction, depression and suicide attempts followed.  At one point, her children were taken from her.  She was estranged from her father for over twenty-five years; only recently beginning the healing process, they have slowly begun to reconcile.

Ms. O’Neil was asked “why now”, why reconcile.  Her response was telling.  “I’ve always loved my father.  No matter the mistakes he made or I made, I always loved him.  And when you love someone, you forgive them and rebuild.”

Her words hung with me for a long while that evening.  As I write this, I am spending my third Father’s Day incarcerated.  I have not heard from or seen either of my sons in almost three years, sons who mean more to me than my own life.  Yesterday my three closest friends from home came for a visit.  My spirits were buoyed by their time with me.  I realized I’m not forgotten by them or their spouses.  Their children are friends with my sons.  I felt, for the three hours they were with me, the old connection to family and friends.

They know the father and husband I was.  They know the love I feel for the three people I left at home.  They also know what I’ve been through and the sorrow and heartache I carry. 

As we finished our visit up and they were encouraging me to “be strong and keep the faith” I told them I would always love my ex and my sons.  “No matter what”, I said, “I’ll never give up on them.”

It’s a question of faith.  Love, simply put, comes down to faith.  In the remarkable song “Hallelujah” one line states –“your faith was strong, but you needed proof.”

I have been rendered heartbroken at times the past few years.  I’ve wanted to quit and give up on myself and others.  But I won’t.  All the proof I needed was realizing God wasn’t giving up on me.  Love isn’t from an Internet dating service.  Love is knowing God believes in you so you can have the faith to believe in others, even at the risk of heartbreak.