Prison Pathology 101

This blog was written in November, 2014.

            Webster’s defines “pathology” as “any abnormal variation from a sound condition.” Abnormal, off, something – or someone – not functioning as it should. You know the old riddle, “Which came first, the chicken or the egg?” I have spent the past few years wondering if prison makes you pathological (in so many dysfunctional ways) or it just allows the pathology to be out in the mainstream. My answer, and I’m upset concluding this, is that there are a fair number of sick, demented, evil people for which prison becomes an Eden. It’s a symbiotic relationship really with both participants – the sick, evil bastards and the corrupt, failed prison – flourishing and continually feeding off each other. And, like a cancerous tumor, it continues to grow and spread and take over all the decency and hope that is around it.

            Pathologic men. So my life has completely been torn apart. It’s early fall 2008 and I don’t know left from right. I’ve been told by my wife of 28 years that she’s “praying I die.” Friends abandon me. I’m trying to mount a defense to an extensive sentence (I’ve already plead guilty); and, I’m in jail, which for a guy like me is hell. I start reading the Bible (why not? God is, after all, the only One who could bring me back) and analyzing verses and syntax trying to divine real meaning for my circumstances and my future. I reach a conclusion – in hindsight, a wrong conclusion – that goes something along the lines that I’m reaping what I sowed and the only way to change my “harvest” is to atone. How do you atone? By seeing everyone I meet as inherently good. It’s their circumstances, their choices that were wrong. If I atone enough, I think, God will restore me, that my “works” will redeem me.

            I help everyone. Child sex-abuse? A misunderstanding. Break into a home and beating the occupants? Bad family upbringing. I befriend and counsel men who, looking back, were cold-blooded, predatory fiends who would have robbed from me, and beaten me if not for 2 things: (1) they thought they needed me because I had knowledge (and in here, knowledge really is power); and (2) God was looking out for me.

            I soon realized Rousseau wasn’t right. There is no “noble savage” who is turned evil by the world around. No, evil exists. It’s a disease and it flourishes in a place like a jail. No amount of “atoning” on my part would or could change that. And, even Mother Teresa, if in jail, would be sentenced to prison. That is the “system.”

            Pathological liar. There’s this guy in here and he tells the truth about absolutely nothing. Funny your life is an open book in the Internet age. Yet, he spins tales. He “owns” car dealerships and homes with his “wife.” Problem is, there is no wife, just an unhappy woman still married to another man who clings to that man’s pension. And the car dealerships? He owns – he has – nothing. He recently had a run in with the Feds and they exposed his lies – his “carnal knowledge” conviction from years ago; his lack of assets (he had to use a federal public defender); yet, he still clings to the lies.

            “My mother was a prostitute and I was raised in crack houses.” No, you actually came from a pretty normal, middle-class upbringing. “My wife and I know the senator from Maine.” No, she might; problem is, her family knew nothing about you. Now they worry, “what has happened to our daughter/sister? She’s involved with a habitual criminal.” A habitual criminal, who says he loves her yet would get her to sneak thumb drives in and operate a telephone number scam. Funny, he thinks he’s smart and slick and sophisticated. He isn’t. Everyone – the Feds, the staff at the facility; they all know what he is: a guy who details cars and now scams his way through his bid. You would think he’d get a wakeup call and say, “this will be the rest of my life unless I give up the lies.” But, pathologic people can’t see that.

            There’s the other guy, the arrogant prick with misogynist tendencies. “I’m not a misogynist. I like sleeping with women.” Idiot! He doesn’t know what the word means. Here’s a clue: you call every female a “bitch” or worse, chances are you’re a misogynist. This guy is pure evil. He’s racist, and he’s homophobic (which is ironic because even the college teachers see the way he preens and unbuttons his shirt that he has clear “latent” homosexual issues).

            The guy claimed he was a victim of molestation at his trial (public records are great!) to explain the dozens of restraining order violations he’s gotten. He tries to run a game on everyone – active in the Catholic group here; he’s the antithesis of what Pope Francis calls his flock to be. He betrays friends. He was close to a guy in here. Needed to find an “ex” (never mind the restraining order, he wanted to write her). So the friend gets his girlfriend (a police dispatcher) to look the woman up. Letter goes out and the “ex” freaks out – “how’d he find me?” He tells all to save his own neck. Confrontation on the weight pile. “I thought you were my friend?” His answer: “You know what I’m like.”

            Last week the guy feigned a reaction to peanut butter to get to go to “early – diabetic – chow call.” It was all staged – faked – so he can get out and back to the building like the others, this pathological demon thinks he’s getting away with something. But, everyone see it; the faculty, the officers, everyone knows he’s dirty and dishonest. Everyone knows he’ll be back.

            Pathology. It is fed and nurtured in here by the system. The system needs sick evil men like this to flourish. And, it’s frustrating. Guys think running game, lying, stealing, cheating; disrespecting themselves and others makes them successful in here. They are wrong. All it is is low expectations, low motivation, low self-discipline. It’s a toxic stew and it feeds on failure and pathological men use it to feel emboldened.

            Men accept this life, these lies, this behavior. They don’t get angry at themselves – or their circumstances – and shake their fists and say, “I am better than this!” Or “I will overcome my wrongs. I will be the man God calls me to be.”

            Nature versus nurture. It’s the age-old question. Are you destined by your genes, your makeup, to be, no matter what the circumstances? Or, does your environment make you? For a long time in here I thought all I had to do was care and I could change the world and with it, my own circumstances. I know now I can affect and effect men with my compassion, my dedication, my willingness to listen. And, the sickness that is prison can be overcome. But, it must come from within. You can’t make someone be decent. There is a reason Christian faith is built on a premise of the fallen nature of man and the understanding that works can’t save you. It is obvious. All you have to do is come in here and see the pathology behind bars.