State Struck

You hear it all the time in here, the expression "state struck." It's thrown at a guy who tends to follow the rules, shows respect for the COs, won't skirt the "law." You'll hear it like this: "an you is so state struck. You say 'yessum" to these sons of bitches and always follow the rules like they is gonna help you." The term means institutionalized. The other night there was a near fight at midnight in here. Our bathroom cleaning guy was trying to clean the urinal when another man walked in the bathroom. "Can you wait til I finish?" "You are so state struck, cleaning the bathroom like they tell you." Yeah, that's the stupidity I deal with when guys think you're helping the system when you try and do your job and clean a commode.

But, institutionalization is a big problem; the real problem is the guys who talk about being "state struck," they're the real institutionalized ones. They keep coming in and out of here and want to tell everyone "how it used" to be in prison. They break the rules, lose their good time and then say stupid shit like, "They can't take anything away from me." As if staying even an extra 30 days isn't taking something away from you.

And the system thrives on guys like that. See, they make it easy to fall into a coma. Prisons tell you when to do everything. They turn the lights on in the morning for 6:00 a.m. count; they call you to breakfast, and school, and rec, and medical appointments. You can literally set your entire day around the calls they make. They let you change your sheets out every Saturday; there's request forms" for any question--no matter how ridiculous or inane. And it makes guys mentally weak and reliant on the system. No one has to act on their own behalf. It breeds contempt and whining and bitterness. And, I think it's done that way to keep cycling men--and women back in.

I had an interesting conversation the other day with one of the really good counselors here who works the "reentry building." That building is a zoo and everyone knows it--reentry is a failure here and there is no matrix to hold those in charge accountable. Anyway, he told me that the guys act out over in 3 bldg. because "they're scared. They've done nothing with their lives and they're getting ready to go home and they know in their hearts it's easier sitting here and complaining than having to make it out there."

Perhaps that is the biggest failure of the criminal justice system--it breaks you down and institutionalizes you. Then again, maybe it's not a failure; maybe it's a willful plan to destroy lives and keep this whole ugly apparatus afloat. The sad truth is, most who go to prison will get out; but most find their way back. It shouldn't be that way.

This week, President Obama said "America is a nation of second chances." Really? We talk a good game, but when push comes to shove, do we believe that? Are we ready to take an honest look at the failure of this place and say "enough is enough?" In truth, it takes more energy to say, "I will not be institutionalized. I am better than this." In the end, for me at least, it's the only way I can face myself.

"State struck." It's a term I hate because the guys who use it don't understand they are keeping all this going. It's time for a change.