Race...Again

Last Saturday night most TVs in the pod were tuned to CNN as “Breaking News” came in announcing a verdict in the most recent racially charged case out of Florida since the Trayvon Martin murder trial. The new case, involving a white middle class man named Dunn who pulled a gun out while in a “7-11” parking lot and proceeded to empty a clip into a red SUV parked beside him, killing the driver, a seventeen year-old black kid names Jordan Davis and wounding his two black friends. And people immediately compared this shooter (Dunn) to the Martin shooter (Zimmerman); and the case broke on racial lines just like the Martin case; and once again America was treated to the idiocy of Florida’s “stand your ground” law and way too many talking heads on TV inflaming the situation.

            The cases aren’t the same. There were major differences between Zimmerman and Dunn. Zimmerman stayed at the scene, Dunn left after firing. Zimmerman was in his own neighborhood, sober, and “observed” a “suspicious” man walking through. He contacted police who told him to “not interact” with the walker (advice he ignored). He confronted the hooded black teenager; a scuffle ensued and Trayvon Martin lay dead.

            Dunn had been to the wedding of his son from whom he was estranged. He had four rum and cokes at the reception and stopped at the 7-11 on the way home. His girlfriend testified he was in a “not so good mood” and immediately upon parking next to the red SUV with the three black teens in it, stated to her how much he loathed “that f---in loud rap music.” For some unknown reason, Dunn then felt “threatened” by the three teens. He claimed – well after he was tracked down for the shooting – that one of the black teens “brandished” a gun; only after seeing the gun – he claimed – did he pull out his piece and fire in self-defense. Funny thing was, there was no gun in the SUV. Dunn’s girlfriend said there was no gun that she ever saw and she never felt in fear. Not good testimony if you’re trying to build a “self-defense” defense.

            As any reasonable person would expect, Dunn was found guilty of two counts of attempted murder (the two wounded black teens) and the count on brandishing a firearm. However, the jury hung on the first-degree murder count, and that is where the problem with race comes in.

            Guys in here were livid. “M – F—er got away with murderin’ another black kid. It’s open season on young brothers.” CNN’s own anchor fanned the flames with outrageous, anecdotal comments and hyperbole (and yet, Don Lemon remains of the air – go figure.) And I watch it all and realize it is so easy to jump to conclusions and make over-generalized statements especially when it comes to races. America is a unique nation because it enjoys a prosperity and internal peace in abundance all the while being a very heterogeneous population. And yet, the elephant in America’s living room remains race.

            It’s weird really because I always considered myself racially fair (for lack of a better word). I told myself I didn’t judge people by their color (hell, I thought Halle Berry was the most beautiful woman in the world!), but it was easy saying that out there because I lived a racially segregated life. We had no black or Hispanic friends, and no races other than white attended our church. I had black employees; our kids went to school and played sports with black kids; but that was the extent of it. Then I got locked up and I shared cells, and chow hall tables, and my life with men who did not look like me and I realized all the preconceived ideas I had that involved a person’s skin color, National origin, religion, or sexual orientation were unadulterated bullshit.

            Race will continue to torment this country corporately and many of us individual until we overcome those preconceptions. Where is the empathy for the mothers of the two boys gunned down? Shouldn’t any parent be able to feel the loss these women feel? Why should our view of crime, politics, music, anything really be governed by the skin color of those involved?

            Dr. King urged America to judge a person “by the content of their character not the color of their skin.” Sometimes that’s tough. It’s always easier following preconceived notions. But, it isn’t right. Until we come to grips with the fact that a teenager was senselessly gunned down and not worry about his color, we are doomed to repeat the same tale over and over.

            This past week white fraternity members at Ole Miss placed a noose around the statue of James Meredith. The same day, a black Ole Miss student had a drink thrown on her from a passing car as the driver yeller the “N” word. It’s time to stop the ignorance.

Now People Pay Attention

So, I came in from running the other afternoon and turned my TV on to mindlessly watch as I cooled down. The crisis de jour (whether Syria, Miley Cyrus, or the Zimmerman divorce) gave way to a new phenomenon. Three different channels were airing stories on the new show, “Orange is the New Black.” All around me guys sat listening as Katie Couric – or some other vapid, pretty face – asked the writer “How did you survive?” How indeed. And then my young friend Mustafa – two bunks over – blurted out, “This chick’s been reading your blog!” It seems everyone is now paying attention to life in prison. If Hollywood finds a story, can the public be far behind?

            

For those who haven’t yet heard all the talk, “Orange is the New Black” is the TV/internet sensation about a woman’s three years in Federal prison on a drug/money laundering charge. Written by first time author Piper Kerman, it is her story of a middle-class, educated, white woman who finds herself behind “the walls.” The title paints out the difficulties convicted felons face. She compares us to blacks in the segregated Jim Crow South.

            

There is dark, gallows humor in her stories of life behind bars. It’s ironic. We laugh a good bit in here. As I tell guys who remark on my positive attitude, it’s easier to laugh about the insanity in here than to cry. It’s also ironic because most of Ms. Kerman’s experiences are the same issues I write about weekly in this blog. Neither she, nor I, are reinventing the wheel. The problems, the lunacy that is prison is as old as time. However, her story, complete with tawdry scenes of lesbian love triangles and violence, captured a director’s attention who turned the book into a show. And soon, everyone was talking about prison.

           

I thought about that as I watched one reporter after another fawn over Ms. Kerman and parade actors out who portray the inmates and guards in her prison story. They are all such beautiful, intelligent people. They aren’t real inmates, the vast majority of whom have lived lives without adequate medical care or educational opportunities, or safe, happy, well-adjusted homes. TV can’t accurately portray life inside because it’s too sanitized. There is nothing sanitized about prison. It is dirty; it is lonely; it is hell. That story unfortunately, doesn’t sell books. Two hot women in orange jumpers getting intimate does.

            

And I thought about the news that broke the other night on the Richmond TV stations. An inmate at Greensville Correctional Center (2-3 level prison with over 3000 inmates and Virginia’s death chamber) died after being attacked. He was a low-custody thief within a year of release. That’s real prison. Death, and dirt, and disgust, and yet it takes a Hollywood version to make people stop and say, “You mean that stuff really goes on inside there?” I laugh when critics of this blog write in and say, “We know prison’s bad.” My dear, you don’t – as they say in here – know “shit” about life in here until you’ve actually lived it. Oh well, just another felon dead means we don’t have to worry about his recidivism risk.

            

In August, I was able to watch the entire first season of the Sundance Channel show, “Rectify.” It is the story of a man who spent twenty years on death row until his conviction was overturned. What captured (funny choice of word isn’t it?) my attention wasn’t his innocence; no, it was his adjustment to real life. In here, it’s a warped “Alice in Wonderland” existence; or, as my friend Mark – who goes home Tuesday after eighteen years – told me, “I have to remember how to be human, how to trust, how to care.”

            

People are paying attention. Really? Is it TV shows that tell us something is horribly wrong with a system that costs American tax-payers over $60 billion a year and still more than one out of three released offenders will be locked back up within the year? Aren’t some things so obvious that we don’t need talking heads to tell us what is right? Apparently not.

            

Right now, prison is a hot issue. In politics, candidates on the right bemoan the waste of money and lack of results while those on the left see prison in terms of racial and economic injustice. Churches are remembering their obligation to minister to those “on the outside.” Authors and screenwriters get rich telling the story of life behind bars. Meanwhile, 2.3 million men and women go through another day inside.

            

More than three years ago, I began this blog with the simple goal of finding out if anyone was out there. Did anyone care about life in here? There have been times when I’ve said too many personal things, where I’ve questioned aloud my circumstances while trying to make sense of life in here. I’ve always written with the idea firmly embedded in me that people are basically decent. They care what happens; even, as they – like me – do stupid, senseless things at times, they care and they feel compassion and empathy.

            

Piper Kerman and others are making people pay attention to what goes on in here. That is a good thing. But, it should not take TV to tell us things have to change.

Reaction Inside

Last Saturday night around 10:00 pm, as we waited for our final standing count of the day, news broke that the jury had reached its verdict in the George Zimmerman murder trial. As we waited for the officers to whistle us to the ends of our bunks, almost every set of eyes was focused on the decision. In a place like this, where every man in here has dealt with court, and conviction, and sentencing, following trials is as natural as following football. Throw in the racial overtones the case presented and you couldn’t find a man who didn’t have an opinion. Hear the jury foreperson say out loud “not guilty” and you could feel the collective tension in the building rise.

           

It was an interesting next few days and it gave me a chance to analyze my own thoughts on the matter. As with most circumstances in here, my opinions - always asked for - somehow managed to upset both sides of the argument. I guess that means I’m on to something.

            

Does Trayvon Martin’s death have broad social implications? It shouldn’t, at least not any more so than the tragic death of any other young person in this country from random gun violence. The leading cause of death for black teenage boys in this country is shootings. Trayvon Martin is just one of too many young black men who will not see adulthood because of our nation’s obsession with guns. I’m not disparaging the Second Amendment. The fact is, in this country getting shot is as American as apple pie.

            

Trayvon Martin didn’t have to die. Unfortunately, too often we act in a careless, impulsive manner. We put a course of events in motion which soon take on a life of their own. We are at the mercy of the situation we began. It’s one of those laws of human nature as applicable as gravity: our actions have consequences. It’s my story of prison and divorce. It’s George Zimmerman and Trayvon Martin’s story as well.

            

Trayvon Martin had every right to walk from the “7-11,” back to his father’s apartment by way of those public streets in that neighborhood. No one has a right to profile a person legally walking the street because he happens to be young, black, and wearing a hooded sweatshirt.

            

The irony of profiling young, black men in white neighborhoods is they aren’t the ones committing the crime there. Black on black crime is far more prevalent than black on white. It is simply prejudice fostered by ignorance that makes white people recoil when a black teen walks through their neighborhood.

            

So Trayvon Martin was legally entitled to be where he was. But, so was George Zimmerman. Zimmerman is the kind of neighbor we all want. He cared about the area he lived in. He knew the people who lived around him. He volunteered to keep the neighborhood safe. How many people, after coming home and finding their home burglarized haven’t wished they had a neighbor who watched what was going on and was willing to call the police? Zimmerman also had a right to carry a gun.

            

Both participants had every right to be where they were and behave as they did. Isn’t that usually how things start out before they go awry? The race baiters are wrong. This isn’t about “open season” on young black men. There’s simply no evidence that Zimmerman was motivated to act by any racial animus.

            

There are problems facing young black men. They kill each other at alarming rates. They are imprisoned at significantly higher levels than whites or other racial groups. But, is it color or class that matters? I keep telling the guys in here that black college graduates have the same low unemployment rate as white college grads. Unfortunately, a significant percentage of black families are one parent families. There is a direct correlation between one parent families, poverty levels, and a lack of higher education. Class, it seems, matters more than race.

           

I see it in here every day. The young black men I share this prison pod with almost all came from broken, single parent households. They knew more people who’d gone to prison than college. And, the crimes they committed: drug dealing, robbery, murder, almost always victimized other black citizens. No, Trayvon Martin’s death wasn’t about his color.

            

But it also wasn’t about self-defense. In here you know what they call a grown man who follows teenage boys: a predator. Zimmerman should have left the kid alone. And more parents, hindsight being twenty-twenty, would tell their kids to watch out for a “perv” on the street.

            

No one knows what led to the altercation between those two. And another senseless death resulted; and two families are forever changed. The prosecutors sought fame by grandstanding their case. They fed into the crowd’s call for blood, for retribution. The talking heads used both these men as caricatures of their biased views.

            

What are we left with? We see the words of a woman, Trayvon Martin’s mother, who after the jury returned its verdict simply stated “Lord, I lean on you in my darkest hour.” The next morning she attended church.

           

I’m not sure what justice is in a tragedy like this. But, I know what grace is. And grace matters more.

Facts Matter. Paula, Atticus, and Me.

A lot was made in here over Chef Paula Deen’s disclosure that “once…thirty years ago…” she’d used the dreaded “N” word.  As with most things that happen on the outside, I am constantly amazed at the direction conversations take after news stories – if you consider some obese Southern chef’s use of a derogatory word newsworthy – break.

Guys in here have skewed ways of looking at things.  What with the prevalence of quasi-religions formed on racial myths, there is a huge distortion of fact from fiction.  Conspiracy theories abound on every subject under the sun.  History revisions occurs more frequently than my ex rewriting our twenty-eight years together.  So, I take most of what I hear in stride, chalking up the ridiculous points being made to sheer ignorance.

But, anything involving race gets magnified in here (can’t wait to see how the George Zimmerman murder trial plays out!).  And, Paula Deen’s idiotic handling of an embarrassing remark is no different.  As the news made major hay out of her ignorant behavior (have you noticed how everyday we have to have “breaking news”?), the guy in the bunk next to me asked me if I thought she deserved to be fired.  “That’s not the question”, I told him.  My prior “legal life” taught me that you can be fired for a good reason, a bad reason, or even no reason, just not an illegal reason (i.e.:  because of race, creed, sex, religion, national origin or sexual orientation).

The real question is, in a free society what’s off limits anymore?  If the “N” word is offensive, then it should be held as such regardless of the user.  And, at that precise moment, my next door neighbor had B.E.T. on showing yet another rap video built around drugs, drinking, scantily clad women, and dropping the “N” word.

“You glorify this stuff and these performers who cause much more damage in the black community than anything some overweight redneck cook from Savannah could say.”  He looked at me for a second, said that there’s a difference between a black artist using the term and a white southerner.  Fair enough, I responded.  And just then, it happened.   One of his buddies walked up to us and said, “Hey Dom, my main Ni—a from home just got here.  He’s a bad M—f—n—a!”  I looked at Dom and said, “Case closed”. 

People say and do stupid things.  Or as Atticus Finch told his young daughter “Scout” in “To Kill a Mockingbird”, “you never know what someone’s going through ‘til you walk around in his shoes.”  It is important to remember that Atticus told his daughter that after she asked him if he was a “n---- lover” for defending a black man accused of raping a white woman in a small, 1932 Mississippi town.

“Don’t say n---- Scout.”  And then, he proceeded to explain to his daughter that he took that case because if he hadn’t, “I couldn’t hold my head up and look you and your brother in the eyes.”  It was that book and Gregory Peck’s portrayal in the movie that led me to want to be an attorney.  I learned early in my legal career, however, that no matter how gifted I was as a trial attorney, I was no Gregory Peck.  Life, outside of celluloid, is much more nuanced.  Clients, case decisions, aren’t as black and white as Atticus Finch confronted.

This blog is not in defense of Paula Deen.  She said numerous stupid things and followed them up with a defense that only reinforced the public’s opinion that she is ignorant.  What this is about is seeing the big picture, the human frailty in all of us to be the next Paula Deen.

There has been a heavy concentration of blog responses recently about my “right” to describe life in here.  I accept and welcome that discussion.  But, discussions must be based on facts.  As the late Senator Daniel Patrick Moynihan put it, “Every one is entitled to their own opinion, but not their own facts.”  Paula Deen has an opinion; it just doesn’t match with reality.  Just like the ignorant men in here with their conspiracy theories and arguments, their opinions don’t align with the facts. 

Here are the facts:

The United States has the highest percentage of its population incarcerated.  The number of citizens in the U.S. under some form of correctional control is now 1 in 33.  When Ronald Reagan was President it was 1 in 78.  We have 5% of the world’s population and 25% of the world’s inmates.  About 65 million Americans have a criminal record.  The U.S. prison system costs nearly $60 billion a year.  In 1985, that cost was slightly less than $9 billion.

The risk of going to prison does not act as a deterrent to the commission of most crimes.  Fact is, most people misidentify the risk of being caught and the resulting punishment. 

There is no correlation between length of sentence and re-offending.  In fact, the studies done on nonviolent offenders sentenced to prison actually conclude that exposure to violent prison conditions leads to increased recidivism.

Those are the facts.  Economically, prisons fail at their mission.  Rehabilitatively, they likewise fail.  Philosophically, what does it say about this country – and the ethic of the citizenry that we will accept a failed system that destroys lives in the name of corrections?

Prison reform is coming.  And, surprisingly, it is being pushed by Conservative Republicans who see corrections as a gar hole that accomplishes no redeeming social policy, as well as Evangelical Christians who ask, “What would Jesus do?”  Jesus, I am confident, would be (and is) ministering to those behind bars.

As for me, my life is an open book.  As the one commenter who knows me already knows, my life is on the blog.  And while the writer’s opinion of me isn’t very flattering, neither is it factually accurate.

For one thing, DOC in Virginia does not allow inmates access to the internet (some states do).  I provide my observations to a person’s blog for free and handwritten.  Those blogs are then typeset.

Second, my guilt was never in doubt.  At no time did I seek a plea deal or offer any medical or addiction cause for my actions. In a seven minute address to the court on the day of my sentencing, I acknowledged sole responsibility for my actions.  I apologized to my family, my employer, friends and the community.  I told the judge I deserved incarceration.  I then asked him to temper his sentence to give me an opportunity to correct the wrongs I committed.

I have never once “whined” about being sent to prison.  I broke the law and knew there was the likelihood of my arrest and incarceration.  In fact, I consider my arrest a turning point in my life.  For too long I lived with guilt knowing I was living a lie.

And my Atticus moment – I’ve learned that most people are decent.  There are some who are evil and need to be separated from society and prison – safe, secure, well-maintained prisons – are needed for them.

But for the vast majority of men and women put in prison, the experience leads to a life of despair and failure.  Surely, a nation with the intellect, character, and fortitude of this one can do better.  “Walk in another man’s shoes”, urged Atticus. 

People don’t know why I did what I did.  And, that’s ok.  But, I ask you to consider:  Consider being desperate to get your spouse back from sadness and depression.  You make the decision, you violate your own moral code and you feel like hell.  But, it works.  And, you always come back to that approach whenever things are tough because it works.

I won’t go into detail and if I had to do it over I would have made different decisions all the way back to college.  And, whether you think that warrants my behavior doesn’t change the fact that prisons fail and America can, and must, do better.