Prior to Wednesday’s class, I was helping her set up the
classroom and made idle chit chat with her.
I asked her where she went to school and she mentioned the university my
ex and my circle of friends all work at.
I told her my connection to the school and she suddenly lit up. “I know you Larry. My husband was Jimmy.”
We then discussed her husband who worked for one of my
closest friends. Jimmy died suddenly a
few years ago. The campus was in deep
mourning. Then, Dr. Y and her family
walked in. They had a look of joy on
their faces that transcended the grief in the room. They were a family of deep faith. Jimmy was a pastor on weekends. To them, his death would be a celebration of
his life and his call to the Lord.
I wanted to speak to her further, but it was time for
class. We began with an essay on “mature
reasoning” and the use of argument – well reasoned argument – to persuade. A quote jumped out of the piece:
“The general human tendency is to have the strongest opinions
on matters which we know the least.”
What does that mean? To
me, it says we take rigid position on the subjects we know the least about.
Dr. Y stopped and looked at the class. She spoke directly from her heart to these
fourteen associate degree candidates enrolled in her English class. She said,
“Before I came here
six months ago, I thought I knew about prison.
The first night here I was deathly afraid. But then, I experienced teaching in here and
realized I was wrong.”
Every man in the room broke out in a smile. “The general human tendency.” Four interesting words. I have received an education in humility these
past three years. I have seen moments of
unspeakable cruelty and I have seen men show others more compassion than I’d ever
seen from my “free days” with good, church going folk. I have seen people put their faith in action
and act more Christ like than anything I’ve seen before.
Prison is a terrible place.
And, the people who understand how wasteful, how dehumanizing, what a
failure the system is are the ones who work here and do time here. There are some who respond to this blog with
curt “well they broke the law…” or “they deserve…” That complete lack of empathy misses the
mark. There is a great deal of neglect
and despair behind the walls and society, if we profess to be truly civilized,
must figure out a way to do better.
The “general human tendency” is to accept that “the way
things are” are that way for a good reason.
My incarceration and spiritual journey tells me that’s not so. Jesus spent his entire ministry turning the
law as understood by the “good people” upside down. When He dined with the tax collectors and
harlots a Pharisee chastised him. Jesus
replied “I desire compassion and not sacrifice”. Put another way, “I seek mercy, not law”.
The vast majority of us in here deserve punishment for what
we did. But there is another side to
each of us. Dr. Y has seen that there is
good in a lot of the men in this place. She
overcame her general human tendency and kept her heart and mind open. The students benefit from that and so does
she.
As I was leaving class with her, Dr. Y pulled me aside. “I’m so thankful God gave me the chance to
come in here.” Then she looked at me and
said “You should be too. You have a good
heart. It’s been opened up more by these
men.”
I learned a great deal Wednesday night about faith and
mercy. I’m convinced, as Dr. Y learned;
we can all overcome our general human tendency and reserve our opinions until
we gain knowledge and mercy.
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