The two college IT groups are currently enrolled in
Health. The instructor, a very pleasant
and attractive mid-thirties woman, is a first time teacher “behind the walls”. Like everyone else who first goes through
security and comes in here as a visitor, it is a little intimidating. First-time instructors go through a brief
(one hour) “orientation” conducted by DOC staff to explain the do’s and don’ts
of the institution. As Dr. Y told me one day, when you leave the orientation
you’re even afraid to make eye contact with any inmates. Gradually, what most instructors come to
realize is that men in these college classes, while not possessing the full complement
of academic skills their counterparts on the street have, nonetheless have more
curiosity and hunger to learn than the “free” students they encounter.
Ms. T, after four weeks of classes, was starting to
recognize that. She was changing from a
guarded, worried instructor to an outgoing and engaging one.
DC has a member of his cohort (the term used to designate a
group of twenty guys who take their classes together) who is known to excuse
himself from class and head into the private bathroom for some “personal”
time. Anyway, class ended Monday and, as
is our responsibility as aides, DC was resetting the classroom with Ms. T busy
collecting her things. This clown stayed
back and called DC aside.
“I need you to take off DC.
The lady digs me. I’m gonna make
my play and set up getting my freak on.” [Exact quote. I’ve learned an entirely new form of English
in here].
DC told the guy “Man, you are nuts. She’s not into you. Get your head right.” He then refused to leave the room which
utterly infuriated “Mr. Suave”. “Man,
you f—d up my play. I was gettin’ in and
you ruined it.”
DC came back and talked to me about it. The dilemma:
do we “rat” the guy out to the school?
I’m sure most readers will say “no brainer”. But, it’s not that easy, as I’ll lay out in a
few minutes.
The guy is looking for female companionship; I understand
that. I’ve been locked up for almost
three years, three years of not having physical contact with a female. The guys laugh at me because – being a “storyteller”
– they know I spent almost thirty years with my wife and was never
unfaithful. Relations with some other
woman didn’t really tempt me. I wore my
love on my sleeve for my wife. It is a
struggle in here. One of the cruel
elements of incarceration is the fact that intimacy – with your spouse or
girlfriend, is disallowed. But normal,
healthy people have urges. I am
convinced one of the reasons there is so much violence in prison is because the
system disrupts the normal, intimate contact between these men and the women
who love them.
Guys deal with this lack of physical intimacy with females
in different ways. I know I avoid
pornography and any sexually suggestive material on TV. I try and focus on other things. Sometimes, it’s hard (“that’s what she said!” Sorry, a continuing joke from “The Office”).
What happens in here is occasionally, a guy will, well,
snap. He’ll believe a female
employee/officer really is into him. The
guy may not always be crazy. As I’ve
written before, there are dozens of cases of fraternization every year
involving female staff and male inmates.
There are, however, ten times as many cases of guys misreading a
pleasant smile and demeanor. Nothing usually
comes of these guys warped thought processes.
But you can’t be 100% sure which leads back to DC and me.
I asked him “is this guy crazy enough to act on this? Would he put his hands on her?”
DC – “I don’t think so.
He’s just a knucklehead.”
But what if he does act on it? This compound would be locked down, the
college program in jeopardy.
DC assured me he’d never leave any guy alone in the room
with Ms. T. I believe him. DC may be a pacifist, but even at 58 he still
has the hand speed of the great boxer he was forty years ago. And me, at least four times I’ve been ready
and willing to get my butt pummeled. I learned
my first week in the Henrico Jail you can’t let fear and intimidation stop you
from doing what’s right.
So we discussed the pros and cons of letting our boss, the
principal, know what took place. Being a
snitch in prison is the unpardonable sin.
You may not understand that, but one day incarcerated would change your
view. And, before you quickly say “of
course you need to tell”, how many times have you told a friend “your spouse is
unfaithful”. How many times have you
said to someone you care about “you shouldn’t divorce your spouse”. We all have opinions about proper courses of
conduct, yet day in and day out we keep them to ourselves.
DC and I met with our boss after a college meeting
Wednesday. DC assured her we saw no
imminent danger for Ms. T. We told her
we let two other aides know and none of the guys would be alone in the room
with Ms. T or any instructor.
Is that the proper solution?
Did we handle it correctly? I can’t
answer that. I know I’m comfortable with
what we did and I believe we did the right thing. The thing about doing the “right thing” in
here, or out there for that matter, is you have to take a risk sometimes. If people know where you stand they’ll
respect you. They may not like you
sticking your nose in their business, but they’ll respect that you’re willing
to take a stand. DC did the right thing in the class and I’ll back him up and defend him on this one.
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