Cal

There’s a young, skinny kid in here who goes by the name Cal.  He’s 22 but might as well be 12.  He’s immature and very naïve.  I took an interest in Cal early last January.  We were in English class and a paper was due.  Cal was asleep in his chair, leaned back against the wall.  The chair slid out and he crashed to the floor.  The teacher was startled, inquired if he was alright then noted “I didn’t receive your paper”.  Cal fumbled around and then sheepishly said “I forgot it”. 

We took a ten minute break and – I’m still not sure why – I pulled up beside him and let him have it.  “You need to get your head out of your ass.  You’re getting a free education.  Blow this chance and you’ll be back.”  I was furious that this skinny kid who looked remarkably like Waldo (of “Where’s Waldo” fame), who was back for his second trip to prison, was sleeping in class and couldn’t remember to bring an assignment with him.

Later that afternoon I felt badly about calling him out.  I approached him in the building, told him I was sorry I lost my cool, and that I should have handled my remarks differently.  “You don’t have to apologize.  You’re the first guy ever cared enough to tell me to shape up.”  Since that time he’s been hanging around me, telling me about his life, his future plans.  As Big S and DC have pointed out, I’m playing the role of father for this goofy kid.

I look at him and know he’s had a lousy life.  He’s been beaten up, picked on, and abused his entire life and, I fear, never had anyone care about him.  One afternoon he told me “I’ve been degraded every way you can.  They can’t do anything to me that hasn’t already been done.”  He was in a beef with a gang member.  I knew the guy and asked him to lay off and he agreed.

Cal is like an awful lot of young guys in here.  They come from lousy homes where no one cared about them.  They are abused and neglected.  They turn to drugs (using and selling) and eventually move to other stuff (Cal committed credit card fraud on the computer after being released his first time for selling drugs).  If he was at a higher level prison he’d be victimized sexually.  Nothing in prison has been changing his life.  So I come along and befriend this kid. Does it matter?  Who knows?  But I’ve learned this the past few years:  you have to care.  I’m accused quite frequently by well-meaning friends in and out of caring too much.  Maybe that’s how I do my time; maybe that’s how I compensate for being separated from my sons.  Prison is no place for young, non-violent felons.  Kids like Cal deserve better.  You want to punish him for breaking the law?  Ok, but do it so he’ll become a productive citizen.  Prison doesn’t do that.