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Sunday, October 23, 2011

The RH Factor

When I was at the Henrico jail I became friends with a young black man named Corey.  Corey was 24, a former gang leader, and back in jail for a simple drug possession charge.  He was waiting for admittance to Henrico’s drug court program, an alternative to incarceration.
Corey was an interesting kid.  He was bright, well-read, and extremely polite.  He and I would talk each day, for hours some days, about politics, history, religion.  Corey was a loner with the exception of dealing with me, and feared by a good number of the young Richmond inmates.
Every day, Corey would do 500 pushups in his cell, then sit lotus position for an hour meditating.  He left the gang life before his last arrest and had visions of completing drug court and going back to school to finish his degree.

On the day I was served with divorce papers I lay on my bunk and covered my face so no one could see me cry.  I was as distraught and full of despair as I’d ever been in my life. I was alone and felt completely hopeless.  I don’t know why, but later that afternoon I walked down to Corey’s cell.  He was on his bunk reading.  “Mr. Larry.  What’s up?”  I entered his cell, leaned on the sink and in a choking voice using all my willpower to not breakdown, told him my wife had filed for divorce and I had decided to not contest it.  I felt like a fool, I told him.  I’d voluntarily signed everything over to her 30 days earlier against the advice of my lawyer, my therapist, and numerous friends; all of whom said “she’ll drop you as soon as you give her the assets”.
Corey looked at me and simply asked “do you love her?”  When I said yes, he told me I did the right thing.  He then reached under his mattress and pulled out a book.  “Read this”, he said to me, “and remember you’re too smart ant too decent to give up.  You can come back.”

The book he handed me was by Dr. Charles Stanley, senior pastor of the First Baptist Church in Atlanta and it contained his message that God had a plan for each of us.  He never gave up on us.  The beginning of the book detailed Dr. Stanley’s own experience with divorce.  That night I read the book cover to cover.  I began listening to Dr. Stanley’s radio broadcasts Sunday evenings at the jail.  When I arrived at this facility and purchased a TV I began watching his church service every Sunday morning at 6:00.  Corey’s conversation with me that day and the book he gave me may have, quite literally, saved my life.  I’ve aged in this place and known deep despair, but I return often to what Corey and I talked about that day and Dr. Stanley’s book.
I thought about that this week – about enduring and fighting back – as a number of the young guys came up to check on me after learning of my brother’s death.  These guys reached out to me because; as one young kid told me “you cared about us when no one else did”.  It reminded me of one of my favorite movies, “The Natural”.  Robert Redford portrays Roy Hobbs, an aging baseball player who suddenly appears on the scene and leads a perennial loser to the pennant.  Hobbs, however, has a secret.  Years earlier, as the rising young hitter in baseball, he’d had an encounter with a woman.  She shot him, leaving him for dead in a hotel.

I think a good deal about Roy Hobbs.  You come to prison and you’re written off.  People let their real feelings show.  Love isn’t really love.  Friendship, loyalty don’t matter.  It’s as though you are shot and left for dead.
But then, you try to be yourself, give a damn about guys who others have written off, and occasionally it crosses your mind good can come of all this.  I felt that the other day talking to the guys after my brother’s death.  And I thought back to my conversations with Corey.

And Roy Hobbs?  He hits the game winning homerun and then left for home, back to the woman who really loved him and the son he never knew he had.  Of course that’s a movie.  They’re always happy endings in movies.

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