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Sunday, June 9, 2013

This Running Life

Monday and I was off work. I headed out for a long run by my prison standards: six miles during an hour door break. The past few weeks I’ve been running more, for days each week I’ll go out and turn four miles. And my times? I use my watch and clock laps and miles and consistently average 8:30 miles. Not bad, I tell myself, for a fifty-three year old.

            But Monday? I wanted to get a 10k in - six plus miles - because they were running the Boston Marathon. It was cool and overcast when they called morning rec and I headed out the back of the building and walked the quarter mile fenced path to the track. I started the run, fell into a comfortable stride and thought and prayed about life. Running, I’ve found, is a form of meditation. I feel closer to God somehow when I propel myself forward and hear my breathing and feel my heart.
            It was with those thoughts in mind that I watched albeit briefly, the news of the bombings at the Boston Marathon. My mind remembered running a marathon in 1999 shortly after my fortieth birthday. I remembered that experience as I tried to digest the news of a dead eight year old boy, killed by the explosion just moments after he and his family watched friends complete the race.

            1999 and I turned forty. At thirty-eight I’d become a father for the second time. Our younger son was a handful, more rambunctious and demanding than his older brother. There was even less time for my wife and I to be a couple. Work, church, and now new family responsibilities pulled at both of us.
            Forty was a tough age. When I was twenty, I had my whole life ahead of me. I was one of the top academic students at my small college. I had a myriad of choices about my future: law school or graduate school. I knew everything (or so I thought). I had dreams, long dreams of travel and writing and a life that mattered. By forty, all those dreams were gone. You tell yourself those dreams were just the foolish meanderings of a young man, but then you look at the grey hair, the fleshier jowls, the slight paunch and you realize the guy who used to run ten miles an hour is gone.

            A marathon. Then and there on my 40th birthday, I decided I’d run a marathon. I’d never run more than twenty miles at one time. I decided at forty I would run 26.2. It strained an already stressed marriage. After all, I needed three hours each Saturday and Sunday to run fifteen to twenty-five miles at a time. And. I started leaving for work even earlier to get morning runs in. But I knew I needed to run those twenty six miles. My life wasn’t what I’d imagined. I had started heading down a path that would eventually put me in prison – and lead to a divorce and a whole host of other results. At the time, in the circumstances I was in, I thought I understood the risks. They were risks worth taking (at least I thought). But the marathon – running that marathon I thought would restore my life, my dreams.
            That November, I ran my marathon on a cool, clear day. Truth be told, it was tough. The first half was easy. The last six miles, I was dehydrated. My legs ached. I wondered why I thought a run could change my life. And then it happened. I turned onto the college campus where the race began and ended. I was a half mile from the finish, just hanging on, and I saw him. It was my little boy, just a few months over two, and he saw me and began running toward me with that grinning, toothy smile he had. “Daddy,” I heard him giggle. Seeing him, hearing him, suddenly made everything right with my world.

            I thought about that moment yesterday evening as I thought about a father being greeted by his eight year old at the finish line. A smile from his son, a shout of “Dad,” and then the horrible, awful reality of the bombing, and death, and despair.
            Prison. This is a God-awful place. There are men I deal with daily who have committed unspeakable acts. Murder and violence is as normal to them as breathing. Still, maybe it’s my need to atone, but I try and see the humanity in them. And then there is the father, and his son, and the marathon. The guys watch and they call for vengeance. “Kill the bastards who did this. Blow up their kids.” An eye for an eye. But, the father and the memory of that moment at the finish with his precious son and runners in stride propelling them forward, and breathing, and life … How does vengeance help that?

            The last few weeks I’ve been having a debate in my mind about two Bible passages. For someone prone to a “realistic” view of life (that things happen, bad things, and people suffer for no good reason), the passages make no sense. Of course, so much of what God tells us doesn’t make much sense.
            “This is the day the Lord has made. Rejoice and be glad in it.” God makes every day. But rejoice? Be glad? Even when your world is turning to hell? I should have rejoiced on August 18, 2008, when I was arrested, led off in handcuffs, and spent the first of many nights behind bars? How about September 5th? Exactly twenty-nine years from the night of our first date, my wife’s complaint for divorce was granted. Rejoice? Will the father cling to the memory of his little boy or, will it be the aftermath?

            “Rejoice in the Lord always. Again, I say rejoice.” Impossible with all the turmoil, and violence, and sadness in the world. Except, except the writer of those words wrote them while imprisoned in conditions more barbaric than we who are locked up today can imagine.
            The running life. The father of that little boy will run. Because it is in the run, the breathing, the heartbeat as he goes forward that he will feel the presence of his son. He will feel and he will remember the smile, the words. I know this to be true.

            We focus so much on the retaliation, we forget the life. Violence begets violence; anger begets anger. Kindness, mercy, forgiveness, they alone overcome. I think about those things as I grapple with the violence all around me. Men who think they are justified in their violence, both inside this prison and in the “real world.”
            And I think of my marathon, the patience and endurance through pain and difficulty until I turned and saw my young son and I knew, I knew love, and hope, and peace. My prayer for the grieving father in Boston is that he, somehow, finds that and he remembers on his runs to come and, in spite of it all, rejoices.

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