The Molester Debate

Amazon.com found themselves in the news a great deal this week, and not for any quarterly profit information. No, they were being called out for posting for sale “how to” e-books encouraging and defending pedophilia. Amazon.com made their biggest mistake trying to justify the sale on first amendment grounds (“we oppose censorship”) instead of admitting they screwed up. Worse yet, their own posting policies were violated (they do, in fact, censor for content).



Under enormous public pressure, they finally pulled all the “author’s” titles. I use the word “author” loosely. The writer, in my opinion, is nothing but a sick, twisted child molester.


I do my “bid” with a number of child molesters. During this past year, I have reached a number of conclusions about their behavior, their personalities, and their grasp of reality. While I try to remain open-minded about all inmates, I can’t about them. Quite candidly, they are not rehabilitated by prison. If left unchecked, they will molest again. They are sick and the sickness only festers in here.


One thing that disturbs me is, for the most part, they look just like me or my friends from my “free” days. They are white, middle-aged, better educated and better read than the vast majority of inmates locked up. They are the kind of guys that know history, literature, art and music. But, they all get sexual gratification thinking about children. Worse yet, they don’t think there is anything wrong with their behavior. They really believe they’re being picked on.


I don’t understand the brain “wiring” that allows a man to get “turned on” seeing little girls and boys. I know how I felt with my wife, the arousal and passion, but I just don’t get how those feelings can be brought out by a child. These guys – if given the chance – will wax poetically about cultural taboos. They’ll cite some pre-industrial culture as evidence that adult-child sexual contact is healthy. Frankly, it’s at that point that the “father in me” comes out and I want to beat these guys to a bloody pulp.


Most inmates, if given the opportunity for a “do over”, will admit to you how much they regret the behavior, the actions, that put them in here. Whether it’s murder, armed robbery, or embezzlement, guys understand this is no way to live.


Not so with child molesters. First, they continue to feed their sickness. They play games (as I’ve written before, Dungeons and Dragons is a big pedophile draw in prison), watch Saturday morning cartoons, and order “young girl” soft core porn (“barely legal,” “look pre-teen”). They see themselves as normal, with healthy libidos. They are arrogant. They believe 1) they’re smarter than “real” criminals; 2) they don’t deserve prison because they haven’t done anything wrong; and 3) they have normal needs.


Take “Will”. A former NCO in the Air Force, working on his master’s degree via correspondence coursework. He’s halfway through a twelve-year sentence for repeatedly sexually abusing his own five year old daughter.


There’s “Tony”. He had “relations” with a number of his daughter’s girlfriends. His daughter’s age during this: thirteen to fifteen.


“Jim” was arrested with a computer full of images of his own kids and relatives’ kids nude and in suggestive positions.


These guys hang out together, work together; belittle the other “less intelligent inmates” together. Ironically, and perhaps this explains part of my bitterness – they all received sentences shorter than me and two of them remain married to women who visit and write regularly and continue to support them during their sentences. (So, I steal $2 million from a company over twelve years that annually takes in $200 million, and my wife of 25+ years divorces me for my “lies and deceit”, even though I remained faithful to her. I get a longer sentence and lose more than a guy that rapes his own little girl. Ain’t justice grand!)


I struggle with my pledge to be “open-minded and non-judgmental” about anyone’s case versus my disgust with these men.


I faced that issue directly a few weeks ago. “R” asked me to handle a pardon request for him. I met with him and discussed his circumstances.


“I was in a bad marriage. I convinced my twelve year old step daughter to perform oral sex on me.”


My reaction: stunned silence. Then, I “rationalize” in my mind, it was only once, he’s been through the ten week “don’t touch children” sex offender program. I agree to handle his pardon provided he agrees that one of the conditions we suggest is intense therapy on release.


A week later we meet again. Now I get “the rest of the story”. “Other than the oral, when she was seven . . .” Seven? “Yeah. Nothing happened until I propositioned her right before her twelfth birthday. Then she told her mom. I never touched her, even when I helped her with her baths and showers.”


I froze. This guy is sick. Unfortunately he’s not the exception, he’s the rule. Prison doesn’t break their mindset; it only fosters their feelings of persecution.


These guys need intense, in-patient treatment. Pedophilia isn’t like “other crimes”. It is a sickness that can’t be cured at a dormitory-style low custody prison and a ten week course on “healthy sex feelings”. For the sake of our children, these guys have to be stopped.