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Tuesday, August 30, 2011

All Those Years

Today is my friend DC’s 58th birthday.  He has “celebrated” thirty-nine birthdays in here.  Thirty-nine.  I had to write that again.  He was locked up before the boxing tryout for the 1972 Olympics in Munich.  In 1972, while the Israeli athletes were being killed by members of the Palestinian Group “Black September” (or the German special forces troops sent to rescue them), I was moving with my family from Pennsylvania to New York.  I was thirteen and ready to start eighth grade.  Thirty-nine years.  Every day in here I struggle with memories of my life outside of here.  DC has had to do that for thirty-nine years.
My friend Ty has been incarcerated for 36 years.  He turned 65 earlier this year and applied for geriatric parole.  An inmate, over the age of 64 may apply for early release; there are some criteria.  Ty was turned down.  Ironically, geriatric parole has never been granted.  Makes you wonder why they have it on the books.
Saleem has a life sentence.  He’s been in 31 years.  Every year since his twentieth in here he comes up for parole.  Every year he gets turned down.  Saleem’s “update sheet” – that’s the form DOC generates annually after an inmates review which provides stats on the person – shows his release date as “deceased”.  Thirty-one years he’s looked at a sheet that says “you’ll get out when you’re dead”.  Saleem is a devout Muslim and leader of the Sunni brothers on the compound.  He’s earned his BA and Masters Degrees while locked up.  He is a man of patience and peace.  Thirty-one years will do that to you.

A younger friend – Mike – turned 34 in April.  In June he finished nineteen years in prison.  At the age of 15, in a fit of unbridled, uncontrolled rage, he stabbed a man to death.  Mike comes from a “good family” – his mom’s a schoolteacher.  His father (who divorced his mom and left his life after the conviction) is an engineer.  Mike stayed in juvenile custody until he turned 17, then went to a level “5” max security prison.  He has seven more years and then he “mandatories”; they have to let him go.  Mike and I do yoga together, exchange books, discuss TV, politics, religion.  He’s one of the brightest and most decent people I’ve ever met.
I bounce off the walls at times in here as I think about all I’m missing.  My mind runs a continual reel of “Larry’s Greatest Hits” and I remember dinners with my ex, family hikes, my sons’ birthday parties and ballgames.  I am awash in memories.  My ability to recall minute details – what she wore, her perfume, what the kids ordered to eat – can be maddening.

How do they do it?  How do they watch years slip by and calmly move forward?  There’s no set answer; no right way.  You do what you have to do to survive.
Saleem is fatalistic.  As a Muslim he sees everything from God.  “When God is willing, I will be delivered.”  That’s easy to say; it’s a lot tougher to live.  During my “desperate days” this past winter it was Saleem who asked me to sit in his cut one day and vent against the “injustice” present in my life.  After I’d worked myself into a frenzy, he calmly asked “Do you believe in God?”  My reaction was one of puzzlement.  “You know I do Saleem.  I’m praying and in the book every day.”  He smiled and said, “Then shouldn’t you trust him?”  Smart man.

Mike, he doesn’t keep track of days.  He has no calendar.  He hates his annual parole hearing because it reminds him of time, dates certain.  He knows there’s a day coming and he’ll go home.
Former Republican Presidential candidate and ordained Baptist minister Mike Huckabee is a supporter of prison reform and opposes mandatory sentencing.  In a recent interview, he said the following:

“Tell a person ‘you’re going to prison.  If in the next 10 years you get an education, learn a skill and behave, you’ll serve exactly 10 years.  If you act up …you’ll serve 10 years…we’re not fixing them.  We’re not changing our society.”
Nineteen years; thirty-one years; thirty-six years; thirty-nine years; three years – when is it enough time?  When has the penalty been justly meted out?  When does the punishment fit the crime?

Thirty- nine years.  Think about it.

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