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Sunday, September 13, 2015

Je suis … An Epiphany


THIS BLOG WAS WRITTEN IN JANUARY, 2015.

 

            I was still in high school, the summer between my junior and senior year, when I came across his book. It was heavy, and complex, and difficult. And, it was mesmerizing in its descriptions of inhumanity and tyranny and evil. It was, it remains, profound and etched in my memory. Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn’s “Gulag Archipelago” transfixed me with its honest, brutal portrayal of life in the Soviet labor camp system.

            Solzhenitsyn let the west, let humanity know the truth about Stalin’s Soviet Union. While many here and in Western Europe glamourized the communist system, Mr. Solzhenitsyn issued a frank rebuttal. “It is a lie.” His book, smuggled out of the USSR and published in English stands as a testament to the words, “the pen is mightier than the sword.”

            Andrew Bacevich, a college professor and veteran from the Vietnam War lost his son in Iraq. He said,

            “A people untouched (or seemingly untouched) by war are far less likely to care about it. Persuaded that they have no skin in the game, they permit the state to do whatever it wishes to do.”

            Bacevich was responding to the American public’s “rah rah” attitude when it comes to this nation sending its young men – and women – in harm’s way. The vast majority of Americans know no one in the military (there are less than 2 million Americans in the armed services) yet we regularly allow our leaders to send those same men and women into combat; we allow this nation to be bankrupted fiscally and morally by defense spending that is 10 times what Russia spends, 7 times what China spends, and more than the next 30 nations after us spend combined. And, as I read Mr. Bacevich’s statement, I can’t help but think changing one word is also a profound truth:

            “A people untouched … by prison are far less likely to care about it.”

            Who in this country, who in this state, really cares what happens behind the walls and fences? After all “bad people” go to prison.

            “Je suis Charlie.” A few weeks ago, fourteen employees of the French satiric magazine “Charlie Hebdo” were murdered by Islamic fanatics. The reason? They dared portray the Prophet Mohammad in a satirical light. “Charlie Hebdo” crosses a great many lines – they were crude and extremely disrespectful to religion (and not just Islam). Many of their cartoons were borderline obscene. And yet, following the massacre western Europe and America rose as one in a chorus that said “Je suis Charlie” – “I am Charlie” – you cannot stop free expression. What a profound and powerful response to those who seek to curtail words … and what hypocrisy.

            “I was just a guy in Georgia writing what I thought.” Erick Erickson, founder of the blog, “Red State.”

            Over five years ago, I began writing for this blog as a way of witnessing to anyone who cared to read my journey inside. I had gone from a seemingly picture-perfect “American dream” life to an alien world, a world where right was wrong, up was down, and the process just continued to churn. I met men and women who I never even knew existed in my “America.” I saw evil, heartbreak, and moments of pure decency that restored my faith. All of it was – and always had been – part of the world I knew but I chose to ignore it.            I decided to blog with a few basic rules. First, I would always tell the truth. I don’t care if people agree with me; at least they know what I write is honest. Second, I would never “out” an inmate – or officer. I write character composites – multiple people rolled into one – to move stories forward. The names – my creations.

            Christian writer Phillip Yancey said in describing the prophets of the Bible,

            “For writers and others who seek to impart wisdom, there is a time to be a good (a prod to action) and a time to be a firmly embedded nail.”

            People stumble across this blog all the time and respond in a myriad of ways. I have been praised and cursed; told I am brilliant and that I deserve this time and more. I have been accused of disclosing too much about my personal life, too much about what happens here. I have been threatened by inmates and cautioned by officers. A federal prosecutor and FBI agents told me they read the blog. I know the facility – DOC - monitors it. Anonymous “notes” have been dropped on me … all because of some words I put together and mailed out to a blog.

            “Individuals and societies are not helpless victims of heredity. We have the power to change – not by “looking down” to nature but “up” to God, who consistently calls us forward to become the people we were designed to be.” Phillip Yancey.

            Much is wrong with America’s love affair with prisons. Many of the men, and women behind bars – while law breakers, didn’t – and still don’t – deserve to be incarcerated. States – and the Federal government – violate basic human rights daily in their operation of prisons and treatment of prisoners. It is a horrible, money-wasting, life destroying system that needs immediate attention.

            “You can judge a society by how it treats its prisoners.” Fyodor Dostoyevsky

            How do we, as Americans, answer Dostoyevsky? How do we, as Christians, respond to Jesus’ parable in Matthew 25?

            “Je suis ______” I am. I am a middle-aged, divorced, convicted felon who lives each day knowing I lost a wonderful wife, a great career, friends, wealth, and privilege. And, I am now witness to the mindless destruction and waste, the fraud and hubris that is America’s criminal justice system. I have met men who are not part of the American dream who live with their families outside the mainstream with bad schools, housing, healthcare, and economic opportunities. I see it all, I hear it all, and I write. And …

            I will continue to write about it regardless of the powers that be who are uncomfortable with it. Je suis … Larry. Just because you are locked up doesn’t mean your voice doesn’t count.

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