A Cougartown Nightmare

I work for corrections education. This past week the school principal – Ms. C – called me to a meeting with the two teachers I work for: Ms. H and Ms. W. All three women are older than me and, in a bizarre twist; all three enjoy talking to me and having me work for them. I hate to admit it, but I’m charming.



The meeting was to discuss me developing a writing lab for all the students enrolled in GED classes. Currently, with Ms. W’s supervision, I teach two creative writing classes each week. I was thrilled with the prospect of working with all the guys in the school. But, then the fun began.


“Which teacher do you want to be assigned to full time?” Ms. C asked. I was between a rock and a hard place. On the one hand, there was Ms. H, a gravely voiced, early 60’s divorcee from Hilton Head, South Carolina. She was educated at a private catholic boarding school, then earned a Masters in English from Virginia. To offend her alcoholic mother she gave up teaching at a private school to become a prison teacher over 23 years ago. She lives near my former home and socializes with a good number of people I know. On more than one occasion she’s told me “If I ever meet your ex-wife out I’ll be sure to tell her she was wrong”.


Then there is Ms. W, another early 60’s woman with a Masters in Geology from the University of Colorado. Prior to moving here five years ago to buy a horse farm, she had worked as an adult education instructor at a Canadian Indian reservation school. One day she knew I was pre-occupied with my own thoughts. “What’s the matter?” she asked. I told her about my ex’s objection to my blog postings and her refusal to even communicate with me about our younger son. The diminutive Ms. W jumped up, pointed at me and said, “She knew what you were doing. She loved the fancy life; loved all the gifts. She divorced you to play the role of innocent spouse. She’s got to live with her decisions and be honest about her feelings and behavior!” As you can probably tell, I really love working at the school!


So here was my dilemma. I had to pick one of these instructors to go to work for full time and abandon the other. “I enjoy working with both”, I said, trying to maintain complete neutrality. Then the conversation deteriorated as Ms. H accused Ms. W of playing “middle school games”. Ms. C stepped in. “The writing program will be under Ms. W. If you want to head up the writing program you’ll go to Ms. W full time.”


Decision made and like everything else in prison, I was told what to do. Ms. W was “thrilled” I was going to work with her. Ms. H told me “I don’t blame you. You’ve always got a job with me if things don’t work out with her.”


I headed back to the building and hung out with Black and Big S and told them what happened.


Then Black said: “So you got two sixty year old white women fighting over you?”
My reply: “Yeah. And the one woman I want to be interested in me – my ex – wishes I was dead.”
Black: “That’s prison.”


They never explained that part in orientation!