Good...Bye...

“In the clearing stands a boxer, 

And a fighter by his trade 

And he carries the reminders 

Of ev'rye glove that laid him down 

And cut him till he cried out

In his anger and his shame,

"I am leaving, I am leaving." 

But the fighter still remains”

Simon and Garfunkel's "The Boxer" reminds me of two dear friends who left this past week. Chuck and DC both have gone home to begin new lives, real lives, lives outside this cesspool with family and friends who love them and respect them and understand they are not the total of their "update sheets."

DC--like an older brother to me; 43 years--imagine that number, 43 years, locked up. He was ruthless and cruel and ignorant and now...now he is a man with dreams and ambitions and knowledge. He never shirked responsibility for his wrongs. That was one of things I loved about DC. He always told me he got what he deserved. I don't think so. I think he got more...so very much more than he deserved and he never complained. More importantly, he never gave up hope.

And Chuck? Chuck was just a decent guy; a military retiree who on one night made a terrible mistake. And it cost him. It cost him a marriage, and time with his three sons; and the birth of a grandchild; and his job; and his freedom; and his self-respect. And Chuck wore his guilt and his pain much like I do. But the beautiful thing about Chuck was, he never let it sour him. He cared about people; he helped people; and he found the inner strength through his faith to make a difference in a lot of younger men's lives in here.

Chuck and DC were my "go to" guys. On those days--more than I care to admit--that I felt the whole world crashing down around me, it was those two who would listen and then tell me to fight on, see the good, and never give up.

Prison is not a place for relationships and yet I love these two men like a brother loves his brothers. They were real in a place where almost everything else was phony. And I miss them both dearly, but know they are doing great.

Don't misunderstand me--I hate this place; I hate what it stands for; I hate the waste of money, and lives; and I hate the lack of accountability and the lack of honesty from those in charge. Prisons are failures--nothing, I repeat nothing, good comes from doing time. But these two men, good men, men who would stand with you no matter what, they survived and thrived and overcame this place in spite of the system's failures.

The boxer--my friend DC was a boxer and I know from his stories he was hit and knocked down and left on the mat more than a few times; but he always got up. "The fighter still remains."

If there is a silver lining to all this, it is in the fact that even in an environment like this you can find humanity. And, even when it looks like someone is beyond repair--even when we think there is no hope a person will ever be "right" we never can tell what is in that person's heart.

So Chuck is watching his beloved Red Sox in Tampa, and DC is going to see his Skins, and I'm still here a much better man for having friends like them.

“I'm on your side. When times get rough 

And friends just can't be found, 

Like a bridge over troubled water

I will lay me down.

Like a bridge over troubled water

I will lay me down.”

Old Paul and Art knew what they were singing about. Live wonderful lives my two dear friends.

Postscript: I've been thinking a great deal this summer about the meaning of incarceration, faith and the failure this system has to actually rehabilitate the vast majority. See it every day; you will see it on the pages here for the next few months. Governor McAuliffe is looking at parole--he needs to know the truth about this place. And if he reads the upcoming blogs, he will.