The Letters

 THIS BLOG WAS WRITTEN IN JANUARY, 2015.

 

            The news reported extensively on the letters, so many letters addressing the goodness, the decency, of the man. There were over four hundred letters submitted and they all addressed the same issue: what a terrible waste of a life it would be to send this man to prison. “Déjà vu,” I thought. I’d been there when friends and community and church leaders stood by me and urged my sentencing judge to show mercy. Those people, those letters came back to me as the continuing saga of former Governor McDonnell’s pending sentencing approaches.

            Does community support matter? I’m not sure. In my case, the judge made short work of my “support.” He acknowledged I had done much good. But, he said those good works couldn’t overcome my breach of trust. In the same way, those hundreds of letters urging mercy and leniency for Mr. McDonnell focus on all the good he has done throughout his career. The letters ask the court to “weigh” the good versus the wrong. And, just like my supporters, they seek to explain the wrong as “out of character.”

            I remember spending many nights alone in my cell at the jail defending myself and life record with God. I had reasons for doing what I did, I would whisper over and over. I always tried to help people; I worked for the church, for the community. I gave all I had to my family; I was a good friend. Over and over though I’d come back to the same conclusion I’d paraphrased from a Dylan song: “All the good that you do can never buy back your soul.”

            I am, I must confess, conflicted about Robert McDonnell. He was a party to the shame that is Virginia’s corrections apparatus. As a prosecutor, he ensured that many of the men I’ve met who lacked the intellect or financial wherewithal to challenge a prosecution ended up behind bars. And, as I’ve written before, most sent to prison deserve neither the length of sentence nor treatment they receive. Prison is a false solution to too many societal failures.

            McDonnell was a party to the lie that “lock em up and throw away the key” was the cure-all to the epidemic of crime (mostly drug crime) that swept poor, inner city neighborhoods in the ‘80s and ‘90s. He supported abolishing parole. And, all his positions made him a darling in the surging Republican party of that same era. That wave led McDonnell to first being elected Virginia’s Attorney General and later to the Governorship.

            Can the “good” outweigh the “bad?” The letters, the support, tells you it should. And you know, I’m not that different from the Governor. There was a time – years ago – before kids, and marital issues, and stupid, reckless decisions about money, that I harbored dreams of political office. I was bright, energetic, and “good.” And, I “knew” crime needed to be punished. Somehow, my views changed when I ended up on this side of the fence. “A liberal is a conservative who’s been arrested.” I get that.

            Justice doesn’t reside in creating a tally sheet with “5” good things neutralizing “1” bad. No, our actions stand on their own. All those letters can’t change the fact that Governor McDonnell broke the law.

            What then are their value? For me they were, they are a reminder that at my core I am more than what the sentencing order shows. They remind me to hold my head up and believe that there is something beyond this. They also remind me that even in my worst moments I mattered to those around me.

            In a prior blog, I wrote that I believed Mr. McDonnell deserved mercy and that no societal benefit can be derived from his incarceration. Like me, his punishment is felt daily in the heartache over his family turmoil and the hurt he caused those who care about him. Mr. McDonnell can still do much good. Don’t waste his talents in the cesspool that is prison.

            Perhaps the letters will remind him of who he truly is and what he really cares about. And perhaps those currently in power Richmond will use his situation as a wakeup call to release so very many of us who languish in here while trying the best we can to make a difference.

            If you ever want to be humbled, have a lawyer ask your friends to write a letter supporting leniency in sentencing. It will change your heart forever. I hope the former Governor has figured that out.