Responding to Dan

Dear Readers: I never expected to have anyone actually read this blog. I’ve been quite surprised by the warm response I’ve received and I appreciate the comments. One recent comment, posted by “Dan” has led me to write this particular blog.



Dear “Dan” – I received your comments on my recent blog “Morali-Dee” a few days after you submitted them. Thank you for reading the blog and taking the time to respond. I obviously struck a nerve which is good.


You are, by all appearances, a highly intelligent young man. Like my oldest son, you probably attended a prestigious liberal arts college. You’d make a hell of a lawyer if you choose to pursue that profession. I am sure both your mother and father love you deeply and are very proud of you.


“Thou shalt not steal.” Great commandment; I’d put it in my top ten, right next to “Honor your father and mother”. It is clear you have been taught by your parents to live by a strict moral code. That is commendable. But “Dan”, I hope you realize by the end of this response that life is beyond black and white. We are called to be so much more than merely living - and judging - according to a set of rules.


Jesus dined with the tax collectors and prostitutes. His following was among the outcasts – the sick, the possessed, and the criminals. He told his followers not to be so self-sure when it comes to the commandments. You may not have murdered someone, he said. But if you dishonored your parents, you broke a commandment. A violation of one is a violation of all.


Jesus accused the Pharisees and Sadducees of hypocrisy and condemned them to never reach the Kingdom of God because they put obeying the law ahead of the fundamental truths of His Kingdom – we all sin, we all fall short of the mark. It is better to be compassionate, merciful, kind, loving, and forgiving. The way you treat others is the way God will ultimately treat you.


I’ve learned over the past two years that holding yourself up as a moral rock is dangerous. Society has a great many laws and it’s easy to step outside of them. I understand your response, but ask yourself if you would have ended up as the same college-educated young man had you lived Dee’s life.


A young man I know who is like a son to me thought much like you. Like you, his parents taught him the difference between right and wrong. But, his behavior still wavered. As a senior in high school he joined in with a group of friends to break in to his school late at night. Sounds like a harmless prank, except the Code of Virginia list six felonies (one of which is classified as a violent felony) that directly relate to this “harmless” prank.


This same young man went to college and willfully violated the Commonwealth’s alcohol laws by drinking before age 21. Finally, this young man – with his fraternity brothers – lied to a hotel to get the facility booked. Innkeeper fraud is also a felony (I know a young man who was sentenced to three years for that very crime).


How much time does this young man deserve for his willful law breaking? Or, should my young friend thank God every day that his indiscretions weren’t discovered and he can pursue his life’s dream? Perhaps my young friend’s story is precisely why Jesus told us not to point out the splinter in your brother’s (or father’s) eye, until you remove the plank from your own.


As you correctly point out, I did indeed steal $2 million. I accept full responsibility for my actions and the consequences that resulted. One thing I’ve learned is your true character comes out when you hit rock bottom: when those who professed to love you abandon you; when friends scurry away; when you are face to face with your failures and you choose not to give up. You find meaning in the pain and the suffering. You also learn how important it is to empathize with your fellow man. As the theologian and author Dr. Greg Peck put it:


“You realize, ultimately we are all broken, sinful bastards, but God loves us anyway.”


So “Dan”, yes, we do have an obligation to the broken in society, even criminals like Dee and me. We are all broken, sinful creatures who are destined for a great fall if not for the overwhelming love and forgiveness of God.


Society is imperfect. Man’s laws are not infallible. Politics, pride, self-interest, greed, all play a role in law’s creation and enforcements.


You may be the smartest, most honest, lawyer to ever live – a man Atticus Finch would say “damn, he’s good” – but if you don’t learn to love and forgive it’s all for naught.


You sound like a wonderful young man. I know how much your parents love you. Write back or better yet, track me down. I’m sure we have much more we could discuss.


As Sheldon from “The Big Bang Theory” says – Bazinga!