Food - May 4, 2010

Food, next to women, is the most desired object in here.  Men spend hours upon hours discussing foods they miss, what they plan on eating when they get out, and meals they're preparing in the building.

You can tell a great deal about guys by what they eat.  There are the junk food eaters who plow through honey buns, candy bars, and Mountain Dew.  Then, the nominal cooks who eat their "noodles" (ramien sold for $.28 per package) "naked" - noodles cooked and "swelled" up with crushed Cheetos and then eaten on crackers.  Then, there are the elaborate meal makers that I've been fortunate to connect with.

Take my friend "E" for example.  E has access through his job to the kitchen storeroom.  He has helped us create a "spice rack" by "borrowing" basil, cinnamon, oregano, and garlic.  The funny thing is, none of those spices are used in the inmates' food, but are regularly added to the staff meals to make them more palatable.

Anyway, E lifts the seasonings and gets "Big S" to help us store them off site.  Big S is the gentle giant of the group.  He looks tough, but has the disposition of Gandhi.  He's a peace maker in our building (as opposed to E who will fight anyone at anytime).

We decide to fix nachos after working out and blowing off evening chow (the way meals and rec work, we get off work at 3:30; if we want to workout we have to miss dinner).  Six or Seven noodles; grated block of hot pepper cheese (E made the cheese grater at work); a cheese mix of cheese spread, garlic powder and ranch dressing powder (E also got that from the kitchen); hot chili with beans (seasoned with basil and oregano) and then mixed with the swelled noodles and nacho pepper rings.  Every item - not stolen from the kitchen -- was purchased from the commissary (our cost - about $2.00 each).

Chips are spread out and then the chili/noodle mix poured on top.  Cheese mix added next.  Then, grated cheese and nacho peppers.  If E was able to get an onion and lettuce out of the chow hall, those were also added.

We stuff our faces and for awhile we aren't in prison.  We're at TGI Fridays or Applebees eating nachos and talking, laughing about women and sports.

We plan more meals.  E is going to lift soy sauce.  I used to cook on the outside.  I describe fried rice with onions, peppers and mackerel (a staple on the commissary list).  I think I can make spaghetti with pizza sauce, fresh veggies and beef tips.  We'll keep the ramien whole so it looks more like spaghetti noodles.

Big S tells us he is a meat and potato guy -- only ate Chinese food once in his life.  I've got a dozen recipes in mind to expand his culinary horizons.

E is getting self rising flour for us, real pizza dough (not a noodle/saltine mix); add pepperoni, sauce, and cheese and we have pizza that can challenge Dominos. 

Brownie mix just appeared.  Big S adds water and alternating stirring and microwaving he makes a wonderful smelling lumpy brownie.  E adds heaping scoops of peanut butter and a chopped up Snickers bar.  Stirred up and scooped equally into 3 bowls.  It looks a mess but smells and tastes better than anything I've eaten since I've been here.