Honorable Men - May 12,2010

Who would ever guess that you’d meet any honorable person while in this place? I’ve been fortunate to have met a group of them. In many ways, I think, that represents what I saw when I was on the street. There were people out there – on their face honest, law abiding, “pillars of the community” – who were busy cheating on their spouses, on their taxes, ignoring the plight of those in need around them. Same is true in here.



There are four men in here who have all done extensive time for serious crimes – murder and armed robbery. Each of these men has been incarcerated at least seventeen years (one is approaching his 20th anniversary in prison). All are under the “old system” (meaning parole eligible) except Virginia’s “Three Time Loser” statute prevents one from parole (he committed 7 armed robberies in a 3 day period to get money to support his drug habit) and the other three are denied every year on the rote ground “due to severity of the crime” (Note: In early spring a federal class action lawsuit was filed by 11 named inmates alleging Virginia’s parole board violates their due process rights by routinely using standard, blanket denial such as “severity of crime”).


Here’s why these “criminals”, these violent men, are so honorable: they have changed; they are different; they have a capacity to overlook other’s faults and forgive beyond that of most self-described good Christians.


I read and re-read Jesus’ admonition in 7 Matthew 1 through 5: “Do not judge so that you will not be judged. For in the way you judge, you will be judged . . .” These men quietly go about their days, waiting patiently for release to come. They all acknowledge their wrongdoing (which is different from most guys in here who view themselves as victims). But, they have all been changed by this experience. You see it in their eyes. They – more than any men I’ve ever met, have a sadness that has been molded into compassion. They overlook so much from the men around them and the institution.


Do they long for justice? Of course. But, they carry themselves with dignity, with a masculine grace I have never seen before. Psychologically they are stronger than any man I’ve met. They help me stay focused.


I also include “Big S” as a truly honorable man. He actually is innocent. He didn’t commit the crime he was convicted of. But, he accepted the conviction to protect others.


He told me one day “it was Karma for all the bad stuff I was doing. I needed this to mature and become a better man, a better friend, a better father to my daughter”. Big S is a gentle giant – strong, tough, but a real peacemaker. He steps in whenever a fight appears ready to break out.


There is such a sense of “what the hell?” that goes on in a place like this. You meet guys who because of drugs, anger, whatever, acted out in a horrible way and received significant punishment. Rather than becoming embittered, these men have discovered that there is a purpose to their circumstance. They have grown spiritual, philosophical. They persevere, they endure, they find meaning and hope.


They accomplish all this while others bitch and moan incessantly about a three year sentence; while others lie, cheat, and steal their way through their sentence.


You want to solve the problems of prisons? Figure out a way to judge those incarcerated by what’s truly in their hearts.