Baggage

I recently began work on a conditional pardon application for a young man 13 years into a first degree murder conviction. He lives in my building. About a month ago he approached me and asked me to review his paperwork. I agreed and have now embarked on a quest to get him released. Not because he’s innocent; he killed the man; shot him three times at close range. He deserves my help and another chance because of the circumstances behind the crime and the baggage from his life; baggage that no one ever helped him unload. He’s from West Virginia. In 1997, at the age of 18 he came to visit his brother in Floyd County, Virginia. He was recently married and his wife had stayed home to work. His brother was also married and lived on his in-law’s farm. Unknown to either the brother or him, the father-in-law was leading a double life. While his brother was at work, the father-in-law made a pass at him. A few hours later, this young man snuck up to the sleeping father-in-law and killed him. He then took the dead man’s wallet and car and drove back to see his wife in West Virginia. Three days later, he turned himself in without ever telling his wife what he did.



He was originally charged with capital murder. The prosecutor found the fact that he stole the “victim’s” wallet and car to be particularly cold-blooded. At trial, the charge was reduced to first degree murder. He went forward without a jury and the Judge found him guilty. The sentence: 100 years, with 70 suspended. He has to serve a minimum of 26 years.


It came out at the trial that the “victim” had spent his life sexually abusing his own son and daughters. He did this all under the eye of his wife who claimed “I didn’t know”. Here’s a question: how do you not know when your husband gets out of bed every night for an hour? When your son’s underwear is stained with blood?


No matter. The Judge held that the victim’s predilections had nothing to do with the crime. You can’t allow for vigilante justice. Fair enough. I agree with the Judge. I am not prepared to say despicable human beings deserve death.


But, the reason why this young man did what he did was because at age 10 he was sexually abused. His “baggage” – the abuse at the hand of an uncle and his family ignoring it led him to that fateful moment when an elderly pedophile made a pass. All those years of pent up hurt, anger and rage came out in three point blank shots to the victim’s face.


Big S and I were talking the other day. He has a beautiful young daughter. He views the molesters and child pornographers we live with in here in utter contempt. It takes all his self-discipline not to tear these men limb from limb. I pointed out to S that almost all molesters were themselves victims of abuse. Big S then said something that made me pause. He said, “They were victims. But, they should have remembered how badly their pain was and vow never to hurt another that way”. He’s right you know. The tragedy of abuse ad molestation is that most abusers, most molesters, were themselves abused. But as Big S pointed out, someone has to break the cycle of abuse. It is one thing to carry the baggage of abuse; it’s another thing to then put the baggage on someone else.


There’s another issue with “baggage” especially as it relates to molesters. Prison does nothing to help break the cycle. Don’t for a minute think prison is rehabilitating anyone. Prisons are used to house inmates. Therapy, rehabilitation is virtually nonexistent.


Take a group of the child porn guys in our building. All of them are required, before their release, to attend a “sex offender rehabilitation treatment” program. It consists, basically, of every type of sex offender sitting in a room while a “counselor” – not a therapist – discusses healthy sexuality. Mind you, in this room are: child pornographers, child molesters, rapists (violent and nonviolent) and abductors (Virginia law describes all abduction offenses as sexual). There is no individual therapy; no meeting of men with similar predilections. Meet once a week, sit quietly while the counselor tells you “no means no” and head back to your bunk and your newest issue of “Barely Legal”. They do their sentences convinced there is nothing wrong with their behavior. They consider themselves to not be like the “real sex offenders” locked up. Ironically, because of the way the law treats them (not one kiddie porn inmate in here has a sentence longer than 10 years), the way the prison “rehabilitates” them, the baggage they carry remains.


What’s the answer? I’m not completely sure. But I do know this: locking men up without addressing the underlying root causes of their behavior accomplishes nothing. If you’re serious about breaking the cycle of sexual violence, molestation and abuse you have to spend the money to actually unload the baggage.


We also need to help those so devastated by abuse. The guilt and shame these young victims carry is profound. Had the young man I’m helping had an outlet for his “baggage” when he was young, chances are he wouldn’t be here today.


Baggage is a terrible thing. You drag it with you through life. Your parents start packing your bags; you carry that with you as you embark on your own life. You find someone, hoping for love, then get rejected, hurt, disappointed. Your baggage is full to the seams.


You have to dump your bags. It’s not easy. I know first hand how painful it can be to unload all that crap and just get on with living.


Ironically, by unloading all your baggage you may end up finding you’re a decent loving person. As the young man in here told me “it took a long time, but I feel OK”. I know what he means.