Thinking About Roger

They indicted Roger Clemens this week for lying under oath to Congress about using steroids. I must confess, I can’t stand Roger Clemens. I’m a life long New York Mets fan. When Clemens deliberately beaned Mike Piazza – a great Met – I went ballistic. I still recall my wife reacting in horror as I led our then 3 year old son in prayers:



“Dear God, please make Roger Clemens’ arm fall off. May he choke and die, O Lord.”


Yeah, that was wrong-funny, but wrong (apparently praying for your husband to die in jail is OK though). So, yes I hate Roger Clemens.


But, lying about steroids? Give me a break. If Roger Clemens wants to shoot his butt full of steroids, so be it. If baseball wants to punish him, that’s their business. Clemens isn’t in trouble for using steroids. He’s in trouble for lying about using steroids.


I’ve got a definite opinion about lying. Lying to my wife hurt us more than anything. I couldn’t – or so I thought – tell her everything that was going on. Instead, I made everything seem perfect. Need more love and affection? Overwhelm her with gifts to prove my love and desire for her.


Fear is a terrible emotion. And, fear of failure, fear of loss, can lead you to do horrendous, self-destructive things. You finally realize that when it’s too late. I did. I decided to come clean when I was confronted about a questionable $30,000.00 check. My employer offered to suspend me with pay. I decided to tell the truth, the whole painful truth. What’d I get? A six count indictment and a 30 year sentence (with suspended time and good time I get out in 2020!).


The truth also led to my divorce and finding out the woman I loved hadn’t loved me for years. The truth sucks, right? Wrong. The truth made me free! (I wish I had coined that expression).


Which brings me back to Roger Clemens. It was reported they offered Clemens a plea bargain; no jail time if he admitted he used steroids. Clemens turned the deal down. He’s either innocent (which I highly doubt given that his former trainer kept incriminating evidence against Clemens “just in case”), or he’s scared to death what baseball people – fans, sportswriters, hall of famers – will think if he admits he used.


Fear is a terrible thing. So is the absolute, unlimited power of the Federal Government to prosecute you. The government will spend whatever it deems necessary to prosecute you, even if it’s only over a needle in your ass or a loudmouth Illinois Governor trying to auction off our incompetent President’s former senate seat.


Here’s my advice, Roger. I still can’t sand you, but I want to help. I’ve discovered during my time locked up that most incarcerated guys can’t be honest with themselves. They can’t come out and say either “I really screwed up. This is my fault; I’m responsible” or “Yeah, I did it.” Either way, they’d at least be honest about the circumstances that put them here.


This country – in spite of our current asinine judicial system – does forgive and give second, third, even fourth chances (isn’t that right Robert Downey Jr. and Marion Barry).


FDR was right. “The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.” Tell everybody you used. You wanted to pitch well into your 40’s. Your body was aging and you needed the edge.


As much as I can’t stand you, I don’t want you in prison blues.