Hearing About A Death

One of the young guys in the building – “Lil D” was called to the watch commander’s office the other day after noon count.  He was told “your mom died unexpectedly during chemo this morning”.  Lil D is five years into an eight year sentence for selling heroin and crack.  He’s 24.  People may not approve of what this young man did, but only a cold-hearted person could not feel for him as he struggled to come to grips with his loss.

Prison is not a place to expose emotions – other than anger.  Sadness and heartbreak are signs of weakness.  Yet “Lil D” returned from the watch commander’s office, lay on his bunk and openly wept.  Later that afternoon he went outside to workout.  I was on the ball court running suicides.  He asked me to time him:  4 minutes straight jump rope, 1 minute rest.  We talked.  He couldn’t go to the funeral:  DOC rules prohibit it.  He needed a letter to his mom to be read at her burial and he asked me to help him.

That night we drafted the letter.  It was simple, eloquent and beautiful.  It captured the sadness in his heart and the love he held for his mom.  Death is never easy to come to grips with, especially in here.  Lil D’s mom can be proud of her son for his courage that day.