The premise was simple enough. Guys get apples brought out of the chow hall
(going rate: 6 apples for a buck of
commissary; 100 apples for $20 commissary).
The “pie chef” has small, deep dish pans (from microwave meals we get in
special ordered holiday “care” packages).
Apples are chopped, cooked in the microwave with a little apple juice
and sweetener packs. Crusts are prepared
with oatmeal and duplex cookies. The
pineapple/orange filling from the cookies is held aside, melted and poured on
top the mini pie, then heated in the microwave (hint: the same process works for peach and sweet
potato pie).
Pies are then sold for $1.50 in commissary items. It’s a great, delicious hustle one guy created. He makes a ton of money and sells out twenty
or thirty pies three times a week. All
is cool until competition shows up.
Another guy decides to make pies.
He changes the process in two ways.
First, he makes a large pie with a bottom and top crust. This pie is built on a writing board that
fills the microwave. Second, he adds
coconut from bags of trail mix to the apples.
He cuts “V” pieces and sells them for a buck.
Competition is the backbone of our American economy,
right? Competition is healthy,
right? That may be so in the real world,
but in here it’s not about simple competition.
Imagine “Little Debbie” getting the upper hand by spreading rumors about
“Sara Lee” – “Sara’s a bakery slut; she cuts corners on her pies.” That is precisely how the pie wars
began. On the street, someone disparages
your product, you sue. In here, you put
a lock in a sock and head to the showers.
And so began and ended the pie wars.
A few welts and bruises later, and the war was over.
“Let us remember those who gave their all” so guys in here
can have microwaved pies from pilfered fruit!
No comments:
Post a Comment