And They Call Me OCD

I’ve written before about my penchant for things being in their proper place. I’m more tolerant now of “sloppiness” than I ever was in my real life. Out there, the mail being haphazardly set on the kitchen counter threw me off. I once referred to our home as a “crack house” because my then wife had left five boxed candles sitting on our dining room table (I told that story the other day to enormous laughter. One drug dealer then said “you’ve never been to a crack house have you?” No, I haven’t. But, I’m sure I’ll find boxed candles covering the dining room table!).



Anyway, I still need things to be “just so”. I fold my laundry a certain way, line my shoes up, keep my lockers in a particular order. One of the worries about a shakedown is knowing the assigned CO will rifle through your stuff and leave it in disarray.


As previously mentioned, one of my close friends in here is Craig. He is the other main college aid and works for the school as an administrative assistant. He also likes everything to be “in just a certain way” to the point he makes me appear to be “Mr. What the hell!” Like me, he keeps lists. Unlike me, he codes his socks (1L + 1R; 2L + 2R) so the pairs “stay together”. In between talking about school, we exchange organization tips and horror stories when our friends screwed with us because of our “condition”. My favorite recent Craigism – how his buddies used to sneak into his kitchen pantry and turn his soup cans and mix the tomato with the chicken noodle – “dirty bastards!”


Yes, we’re constantly picked on for our neatness. But, we’re not in the same league with Randy – the personal trainer. Randy is a laundry nut. He buys ten to fifteen bags of laundry detergent every commissary. He washes his bedding – sheets and blankets – every morning. Five loads of laundry each day, seven days a week.


Randy gets up at 3:00 am. He cleans the floors until 4:00, then showers, prepares both washers (they turn on at 7:00), then reads until breakfast. I rise each day at 4:00, shave and teeth brushing, mediation and devotions until 5:15, then shower and write until 7:00 am breakfast. Craig hits the bathroom at 4:10. We are men of structure. There are about a half dozen of us that organize our days to the “nth” degree. There are probably fifty who have little or no structure other than what the prison requires.


I need the structure. It’s my way of exerting individual control over my life in here. I know every morning from 4:15 to 5:15 I’ll be sitting in the lotus position on my bunk reading the Bible and praying. I’ve learned, however, that there’s a lot more important things than order. I’d rather have the candles on the table and the people in my life.